


The Story of Pipster

by DeepDarkYetDangerous



Series: SoP [1]
Category: The Flash (Comics)
Genre: Additional Warnings Vary By Chapter, Angst, Canonical Character Death, Developing Friendships, Developing Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gradual Character Insanity, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Temporary Character Death, Those will be stated in the notes before each chapter that applies, character resurrection, cross dressing, occasional cussing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-09
Updated: 2016-06-07
Packaged: 2018-04-13 07:08:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 27
Words: 27,331
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4512573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeepDarkYetDangerous/pseuds/DeepDarkYetDangerous
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Story of Pipster is long and winding story, starting from the very beginning, from where the two first meet, till their happily ever after. Follow along their adventure and watch as they go from acquaintances, to close friends, to possibly enemies, and more. Please read and enjoy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Fast Friends

**Author's Note:**

> This story is going to be the longest fic I have written so far, being currently at six chapters written out at this moment of my posting chapter one, with at least 24 chapters (sorta) planned out. Chapters will only go as long as they want, and most will be quite short. This fic is not responsible for any damages to feels, as there WILL be ALL of the feels. *insert evil laugh here* Will touch the horribleness of Countdown. I tried to make a playlist to go along with this, and will say which songs go with which chapter in that chapter.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Song(s) Used:  
> [Taylor Swift ft Ed Sheeran~Everything Has Changed](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w1oM3kQpXRo)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so I was going to show this story to a friend to read this weekend, when I realized, somehow, this chapter was deleted. No idea how, but it may have something to do with the fact I deleted the Table of Contents chapter I had, since it was just annoying and useless with the index button thing AO3 has.  
> So here, Ch. 1 is now back up and running. The newest chapter will be up as soon as my computer stops being a butt head and actually work and after I color the picture that goes with the chapter.  
> I've made some pictures to go with chapters, so check them out on my [Tumblr](deepdarkyetdangerous.tumblr.com) .

** Fast Friends **

** 1997 **

Piper walked into the Rogues’ hideout, full of excitement and confidence.

This was the first time he was going to meet some of the Rogues, his new partners in crime, and unknowing to all, including Piper, his future family in all but blood.

He fully expected the men to be lazing around, drinking their beers and chatting loudly with each other and the occasional insult that was tossed around.

What he _wasn’t_ expecting, however, was the large pie that was thrown in his face as soon as he walked into the hideout.

Piper took a step back in surprise and went to wipe his face off, when a blond ran over, apologizing profusely. Something about a loose spring and a catapult.

But Piper just stared at the blond man.

My _GOD_ was he attractive.

The stranger waved his hands wildly as he talked, his blond hair was short and wavy, and he seemed impossibly tan.

And oh, hey, he’s snapping his fingers in front of Piper’s face.

“Hello?” The blond waved his hands in front of Piper’s face a few times, snapping Piper back down to Earth.

“Huh?” Smooth Hartley.

“I said, are you alright? I mean, that pie hit you in the face pretty hard and by surprise... But it shouldn’t have hit you _that_ hard…” The stranger pondered, looking back at his catapult, trying to figure out why it threw the pie so hard.

“Oh… Oh, no. It didn’t hit me that hard. Just by surprise mostly.”

The blond stopped his ramblings about what could have possibly gone wrong, and laughs.

“Sorry, I’ll get you a towel.” The blond ran off and returned a moment later with a towel, which Piper gladly accepted.

“Sorry about that again.” The blond said as he stuck a hand out to Piper. “I’m James, by the way.”

Piper wiped the cream based pie off his face and took the hand while saying, “I’m Piper.” But froze when he felt electricity run up his arm.

James laughed and held his hand up, allowing Piper to see the joy buzzer that was hidden on James’ palm, sending James a glare.

James laughed nervously at the glare but took the buzzer off and stuck his hand out again, which Piper took cautiously.

The blond laughed and shook hands firmly. “I also go by The Trickster.” He said with a blinding smile.

Well, that explained a bit.

“You sure you’re ok?” James asked. “You keep looking like you’re a bit dazed or something.”

“Oh…” Piper’s eyes went wide and cheeks a bit pink.

The truth was that he’d kinda been distracted with staring at how attractive the blond was, but he couldn’t say that so, “It’s nothing. Just blinded by your outfit.”

Piper hoped that James would go with it, as it wasn’t _entirely_ a lie.

My _god_. Who told him that vertical stripes and those colors were a good idea?

Thankfully James seemed to but it, as he went into defensive about his wardrobe.

“Says the man wearing the big white polka dots!”

This was definitely the start to a glorious friendship.

 

 


	2. No Speak Americano

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song(s):  
> [No Speak Americano](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CR8logunPzQ)

No Speak Americano

1997

James sat at a table, trying to put together his latest bomb design, cursing under his breath as he burnt his finger tip, shaking it then sucking on it.

Piper looked up at James from his spot on the couch.

“What?” Piper asked.

“What?” James responded confused.

“What did you just say?”

“Oh, nothing. just burnt my finger.” James looked down at his reddened fingertip with a pout.

“So you plot murder?” Piper asked and laughed quietly. “And here I thought I was dramatic…”

“Plot… Murder?” James repeated confused. “Wha-Oh, no, I didn’t say ‘murder’” he chuckled.

“Then… What did you say?!?”

“I said… uh… ‘Merica… You know, like, short for America?” James laughed.

Piper eyed him suspiciously. “No, there was a ‘d’ in it....”

“No… I… I don’t know what you’re talking about…” James denied.

“It sounded like ‘murder’....” Piper insisted.

“No... “ James replied.

Piper shook his head as he got up and walked away. “Whatever.”

Once Piper was out of earshot, James let out a relieved sigh, happy he had avoided that situation.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, previously had a Table of Contents, but upon thinking about this last night, realized that it was pretty useless, seeings how there's an index to use for jumping to different chapters and what not. Plus it only annoyed me, since it threw off the chapter numbers, and I had to continuously remember to update it with every chapter I posted. So I just deleted it.
> 
> Please comment with song suggestions and your thoughts of the story so far.
> 
> I'll also have a new story at some point with chapters about ideas that didn't quite fit in like I would have liked, but I do want to still write in. Also another story that's a spin-off of one of the chapters to come. So look forward to that~! :)


	3. Fast Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Song(s) Used:  
> [Taylor Swift ft Ed Sheeran~Everything Has Changed](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w1oM3kQpXRo)  
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ..... I honestly don't know which songs I used for this chapter... Will update when I find them...  
>  Please let me know if I need to fix anything, as this is the first thing I've written in a while and was not beta-ed by anyone other than spellcheck...

** Silver Age **

** Fast Friends **

** 1997 **

Piper walked into the Rogues’ hideout, full of excitement and confidence.

This was the first time he was going to meet some of the Rogues, his new partners in crime, and unknowing to all, including Piper, his future family in all but blood.

He fully expected the men to be lazing around, drinking their beers and chatting loudly with each other and the occasional insult that was tossed around.

What he _wasn’t_ expecting, however, was the large pie that was thrown in his face as soon as he walked into the hideout.

Piper took a step back in surprise and went to wipe his face off, when a blond ran over, apologizing profusely. Something about a loose spring and a catapult.

But Piper just stared at the blond man.

My _GOD_ was he attractive.

The stranger waved his hands wildly as he talked, his blond hair was short and wavy, and he seemed impossibly tan.

And oh, hey, he’s snapping his fingers in front of Piper’s face.

“Hello?” The blond waved his hands in front of Piper’s face a few times, snapping Piper back down to Earth.

“Huh?” Smooth Hartley.

“I said, are you alright? I mean, that pie hit you in the face pretty hard and by surprise... But it shouldn’t have hit you that hard…” The stranger pondered, looking back at his catapult, trying to figure out why it threw the pie so hard.

“Oh… Oh, no. It didn’t hit me _that_ hard. Just by surprise mostly.”

The blond stopped his ramblings about what could have possibly gone wrong, and laughs.

“Sorry, I’ll get you a towel.” The blond ran off and returned a moment later with a towel, which Piper gladly accepted.

“Sorry about that again.” The blond said as he stuck a hand out to Piper. “I’m James, by the way.”

Piper wiped the cream based pie off his face and took the hand while saying, “I’m Piper.” But froze when he felt electricity run up his arm.

James laughed and held his hand up, allowing Piper to see the joy buzzer that was hidden on James’ palm, sending James a glare.

James laughed nervously at the glare but took the buzzer off and stuck his hand out again, which Piper took cautiously.

The blond laughed and shook hands firmly. “I also go by The Trickster.” He said with a blinding smile.

Well, that explained a bit.

“You sure you’re ok?” James asked. “You keep looking like you’re a bit dazed or something.”

“Oh…” Piper’s eyes went wide and cheeks a bit pink.

The truth was that he’d kinda been distracted with staring at how attractive the blond was, but he couldn’t say that so, “It’s nothing. Just blinded by your outfit.”

Piper hoped that James would go with it, as it wasn’t _entirely_ a lie.

My _god_. Who told him that vertical stripes and those colors were a good idea?

Thankfully James seemed to but it, as he went into defensive about his wardrobe.

“Says the man wearing the big white polka dots!”

This was definitely the start to a glorious friendship.

 

 


	4. Italiano

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Songs:  
> [No Speak Americano](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CR8logunPzQ)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song(s): No Speak Americano  
> Ties directly into last chapter, so if that chapter was a bit confusing, this chapter should make more sense.

Italiano

1997

“Merda!” James yelled out as he narrowly dodged a flying projectile.

Piper straightened up. “S-sorry! I didn’t realize that it was you! You know, I have a door and a functional doorbell. You _could_ use those.” Piper huffed, hands on his hips.

“Nah, much more fun climbing in through the windows.” James grinned after he recovered from the shock of having things chucked at his head and finished climbing in the window.

“You uh, _dropped_ this.” James smirked as he picked up the tuning fork that had hit the wall next to his head.

Piper sighed then stopped. “What _is_ it with you and plotting murder? That’s the second time I’ve heard you say that….”

Now it was James’ turn to stop and be confused, hands freezing as he was inspecting some weirdly shaped…. instrument? “What?!? Since when have I said anything about murder?!?”

Piper just stared at James with a look that clearly said ‘bullshit’.

“What?” James repeated with a raised eyebrow. “I… never said murder…”

“Yes you did!” Piper stressed. “When you dodged my tuning fork, you yelled ‘Murda’!”

James mouthed the word in confusion before something clicked.

Sighing he looked at Piper. “Fine. You _really_ wanna know what I said then?”

Piper was about to respond with an absolute ‘yes’, before spotting the look of complete discomfort on James’ face and freezing.

“You… You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to….” Piper said slowly.

James waved that off. “Nah, you’ll think of me completely wrong if I don’t tell you. I said merda. M-E-R-D-A. _Not_ ‘murder’ or ‘murda’, like, ‘to kill someone’. It means ‘shit’. It’s Italian.”

The it clicked in Piper’s head. “So… You were saying ‘shit’ in Italian?” Piper confirmed.

James only nodded and smiled weakly.

“So… How do you know Italian? Take classes? Or native speaker?” Piper asked carefully. He could see that James didn’t look comfortable about this topic, but was too curious to let it go by.

James raised a hand to dramatically place it against his hand an overdramatically replied, “Me? Un madrelingua? Perché me lo chiedi?” to which Piper just rolled his eyes and gave a small chuckle.

“I have absolutely no clue what you just said, but…” Piper brought his hands up in fists, left over right and lowered his right hand, giving a thumbs up.

Now it was James turn to stare in confusion.

Piper laughed. “You think you’re the only one around here that’s bilingual?”

James sputtered out a, “What?”

“ASL.” Piper explained, signing as he talked.

“No way.” James laughed. “That’s pretty cool.”

Then something occurred to James.

“Wait… All those hand movements you do… You’re not talking shit behind our backs, are you?” James accused, while Piper sputtered out in denial.

“Cause that’d be wickedly sweet if so.” James laughed.

Piper stood in shock, as he expected James to be mad at him for something he didn’t do… much…

But Piper quickly began laughing. “Well, I…. I have actually. It’s usually just some off hand remark though. But like you haven’t?”

“Ok, so Italian isn’t as easy to hide as ‘the passable handwave’.” James said, waving his hands around wildly, possibly to prove his point, possibly just cause he’s Italian.

“But yes I have.” He was almost proud of that fact too. Actually, he was _quite_ proud of that fact.

Piper laughed and went to pull James’ hands downwards. “Watch how you wave those things! You don’t want to accidentally insult someone’s mother!” He joked and laughed.

James hurriedly put his hands down and by his sides, an almost invisible blush on his cheeks.

“So… What exactly did you sign then?” James asked in curiosity after a few seconds.

“Shit.” Piper both said and signed with a chuckle.

James laughed and mimicked Piper’s hand movements.

“You’ve gotta teach me how to speak ASL!” James insisted.

Piper laughed and again signs as he talked, laughing as he noticed how James was now staring at his hands. “Only if you return the favor. Italian sound pretty cool and pretty.”

“Deal!” James said, holding out a hand to seal it.

“Deal.” Piper signed then shook James’ hand with a laugh.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so my theory (as I don't think I've said this in the chpater) is that James was raised to be American (but speaks Italian, whether because he was taught, or I saw somewhere that he played stupid to his parents and said he could understand it but really could), so he's almost ashamed of that fact???? Or maybe he's just not wanting people to know he's bilingual for reasons, or maybe it's to help distance himself from his past, but either way, he's tried his best to hide the fact that he's Italian.


	5. You're My Best Friend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs:  
> [You're My Best Friend~Queen](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HaZpZQG2z10)  
> [Cheerleader~OMI](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jGflUbPQfW8)  
> [Taylor Swift ft Ed Sheeran~Everything Has Changed](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w1oM3kQpXRo)  
> More songs to be listed most likely. Still trying to sort them all out.
> 
> I honestly didn't care for this chapter in written form. I felt like I had to explain James' feelings and reasoning to those who read it, but somehow I added that into the chapter while transferring it from my little notebook to my computer....  
> Not as much change in that transaction as there was the previous chapter.

** You’re My Best Friend **

** 1998**

Piper clapped excitedly as James tested his latest gadgets in an abandoned warehouse, gadgets varying from bombs which covered a group of crates in bright yellow sticky goop, which Piper had to pull a rat who got a little _too_ curious, out of it. Another bomb covered a large portion of the warehouse in bright rainbow glitter and confetti, which not only hit the target, but everything else as it went airborne and floated around the warehouse, just as James had hoped.

James had a few sacks of _something_ , which he had found somewhere in the warehouse, which were now his next target, as he readied a blue and orange yo-yo.

Flicking it up and down a few times with short quick flicks of the wrist, he suddenly snapped his wrist towards the sacks.

The yo-yo wound tightly around one of the sacks a few feet away.

Piper watched in awe as the string cut through the thick looking fabric of the sack, it’s innards, mulch apparently, spilling out from the fresh slices.

With another sharp flick of his wrist the yo-yo quickly returned to James’ hand.

James turned to Piper, who was clapping enthusiastically as the blond blowed dramatically, cheering internally, as he had spent countless nights trying to perfect this trick, which was just performed flawlessly.

James straightened and pushed down the feeling of butterflies, shaking them off, confused as to why he felt them to start with.

Maybe it was just the pride and excitement of that trick finally being pulled off and not exploding (figuratively this time) in his face, especially in front of an audience.

Or… Maybe it was the audience.

James had noticed this feeling before, but only around Piper.

Usually he just shrugged it off without thinking about it.

But… Maybe this was what true friendship felt like.

Friendship. Heh. What a weird little thing.

You always hear so much about friendship, but growing up in a traveling circus, James had never truly experienced that before.

If this was what friendship felt like, James didn’t want it to stop.

It just felt so…. Warm and comforting…

The thought that it might be something like the beginnings of a crush never even crossed James’ mind.

“Hey, James! Earth to James~!” Piper called.

“Huh?” James replied, suddenly realizing he’d been zoning out the whole time, a sorta weird face had slowly been creeping onto his face as he thought.

“You done being a zombie for now?” Piper asked, swinging his legs on the railing he was currently using as bleachers. “You said that was your last trick, and I’m hungry. Wanna grab some food?”

“Yeah. Yeah, food sounds good.” James replied happily, blushing as his stomach rumbled loudly. “Actually, food sounds fucking awesome right now.” He laughed.

Piper hopped off the railing and jogged over to James, laughing as he ran. “Good. Burger joint sound good?”  
“Amazing.”

So the two left the warehouse that afternoon, both caked in glitter and the occasional strand of confetti, but neither cared.

Except maybe the rats.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updates are not going to be regular. I may have said that somewhere else, but I can't remember. The story comes as it wants to. I don't like forcing chapters out, as that just doesn't work. I'm currently working on chapter seven (and have been getting Smooth Criminal Stuck in my head because of those chapters....
> 
> Fluff for the next .... actually sorry, angst starts in the next chapter, and warnings will be in the chapter descriptions. (I don't want to change them for the whole story)


	6. It's Really Nothing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Songs:  
> [Smooth Criminal](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x58qBu6FB6Q)  
> [Count On Me](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4JNtAtGGNRU)
> 
> I'm sorry, but the angst hits hard, starting this chapter, and going on for at least the next three chapters. After that, it'll be flip flopping between fluff and angst.
> 
> If you can think of any songs that might go well with this or prior chapters, please let me know, and I may add that to the song lists.

**It’s Really Nothing**

**1998**

To say Piper was in a crappy mood would definitely be the understatement of a lifetime.

He stormed past the Rogues, ignoring the strange looks he got and headed to his room there, slamming the door behind him.

After he passed, most of the other men (plus Lisa) waved Piper’s foul mood off, as it wasn’t to uncommon to see Piper get frustrated because of something or other, and the look on his face was murderous, leading to most of the occupants of the room to not want to question and face his wrath.

But James looked up from his Gameboy as Piper passed and watched him go by.

He didn’t what caused his friend to be so pissed off, but supposed it had something to do with the new looking black eye he was currently sporting.

James had recently noticed more and more injures like this black eye, bruises, and cuts, but every time James even tried asking Piper about it, Piper just changed the subject, gave the blond a death glare, or some answer that was _clearly_ bullshit, and James could never get a straight answer from him.

But this time, this time he was determined to find out why Piper was beaten up.

So James quickly and quietly snuck down the hall after Piper.

Turning the handle to Piper’s room revealed that the younger man had left the door not only unlocked, but not latched either, so James carefully pushed it open.

The room was pitch dark and James could barely make out Piper’s body on his bed, hidden in his blankets and the dim light from the hallway pouring into his room barely hitting him.

As James walked over to the bed carefully in the dim light, surprised when nothing was thrown at his face , Piper laid on his stomach, completely silent, which unnerved James, as the Italian couldn’t think of a single moment when that had ever occurred before.

Even as the bed dipped as James sat down, Piper still didn’t move.

“So…” James started, looking around Piper’s room, trying to figure out the best way to approach this, most likely, touchie subject. “Wanna tell me what happened? Or am I gonna have ta guess?” he asked, only getting a muffled grumble in response.

“Ok… So…. Bar fight?”

A negative sounding response.

“Run into a pole?”

Another negative.

“Fell down a flight of stairs?”

Nope.

“Exposure to rogue radioactive sports players?”

James smirked as that got an actual response from the ginger, who lifted his upper body up to look at James as if to clearly question about the blond’s current mental state, mouthing the last suggestion with an incredulated look.

James laughed. “So that’s also a ‘no’, I take it?”, only receiving an eyeroll in return from the ginger, who laid back down, hugging his pillow loosely.

“Hey, don’t you lay back down on me!” James protested, nudging Piper’s shoulder. “Let me get a good look at your new shiner~!”

Piper tried to shrug James’ hands off, but James had the upperhand and easily managed to roll the very annoyed and pissed off ginger over and face him.

“Why, so you can just use it as blackmail?!” Piper snarled defensively, glaring at James, who rolled his eyes and sighed.

“Not _everything_ I do is of malicious intentions, ya know. I’m not _always_ heartless.” James carefully moved Piper’s face side to side, examining the bright colors his skin was turning around his eye and cheek. “Anyways, this doesn’t look like a door handle or pole or anything like that. Looks an _awful_ lot like a fist.”

Piper turned his head, getting out of James’ surprisingly gently grip on his chin, surprised again, but not showing it as James held out a hand to help him up.

“So… You starting fights without telling us, or…” James questioned.

“It’s… nothing. Really.” Piper said, sounding more like he was trying to convince himself more than James, which earned him a disbelieving look.

“Whatever.” James shook his head and looked around the room again. “But Rogues look after their own.” James stopped to take a deep breath. “If you ever need me to beat someone up, or _help_ you beat someone else up, I’ll be there in a heartbeat.” James admitted as he stood up after reaching out and slowly rubbing Piper’s back in a slow circle. “I mean it.”

Piper nodded, still not looking at James, hugging his pillow a little tighter. He wasn’t exactly sure how much James actually meant in his statements. But there was something in James’ voice that told Piper he was speaking the truth and was honestly meaning every word he said. And Piper found that strangely comforting, stirring up warm feelings throughout Piper’s body, drawing out a tiny smile on Piper’s face as he listened to James leave, latching the door behind him quietly.

Piper knew the blond couldn’t hear him as he said “I know James… I know you would…” with that miniscule smile on his face.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next few chapters will all be about a few weeks apart maybe, but all directly linked and the titles should possibly give away the direction they are headed. Violence is on it's way though, but I will have a warning in the top notes for those chapters.
> 
> Also, I've updated this fic more regularly the last few days, but don't expect that to keep happening. It's only because I'm procrastinating on the chapter I'm writing and there was a noticeable gap between how much I'd written and typed up...


	7. Smooth Criminal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Songs:  
> [Smooth Criminal](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x58qBu6FB6Q)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It may be longer till I next post, since I've almost caught up on typing the chapters up, and only have one left that's not typed, but I can't decide the order of the chapters. They keep adding themselves and yeah. I'll either have James' POV or Piper's POV next, but idk. Hopefully it'll be up soon, but I can't make any promises. Just like any other of my fics, there is no schedule they follow, just posted as I finish. Until then, see ya!

**Smooth Criminal**

**1998**

Piper jumped at the sound of the door to his hideout/apartment being unlocked, having been in the bathroom, which was right next to the front door.

In his panic, Piper grabbed the nearest thing to him, not thinking about just _what_ that object was, as he waited silently for the intruder to enter the hallway, opening the door silently and sneaking up behind the silhouette, making extra care not to alert the intruder of his presence.

Hopefully this was just an armature burglar, who broke into the _wrong house_ , and not… No. He wouldn’t come here, at least not this soon after what happened…

Piper mentally cursed as the floor creaked and gave his position up, the attacker turning in surprise, only to be met with Piper’s weapon, which was swung in desperation at the other’s head.

Piper felt a twinge of pride as his weapon made a large crack upon impact and drew a loud yelp of pain and surprise from the figure, as the figure in the dark grabbed his head.

Piper straightened as he recognized the voice of the intruder.

“James?!” Piper asked, holding his weapon close to his chest with a hand on the handle and a hand on the other end. “What… What are you doing here?”

Piper suddenly realized that he should probably turn the light on and scrambled over to feel along the wall for the light switch, flicking the light on, revealing his friend, not … entirely an intruder, as James rubbed his head and began talking.

“Well, apparently being hit by…. Is that a _brush_ you hit me with?!” James cried indignantly.

Looking down granted Piper the realization that his “weapon” was truly just a bright green hair brush.

Blushing, Piper went to put his “almighty weapon” back in its place in the bathroom.

“S-Sorry again… “ Piper apologized sorrowfully, not able to meet James’ eyes as he walked back into the hallway where James was standing, starting to fidget nervously. “I thought you were…. someone else….”

James easily picked up on the other’s unease as he looked Piper over, getting more worried the more he saw.

“Wouldn’t be the person who did _that_ to you, would it?” he asked, gesturing to Piper’s face, which was sporting numerous bruises and cuts.

“N-no!” Piper rushed, making James even _more_ suspicious, if that was even possible at this point.

“Uh-huh…” James said, not convinced a bit.

“Really…” came Piper’s reply, again not able to meet James’ eyes, as he put a hand on his opposite elbow. “I-It’s nothing…”

James looked Piper up and down as the latter fidgeted nervously, obviously not wanting to be questioned about it.

James sighed and shook his head.

“Whatever. Come on, I’ll help you get cleaned up.” He said, herding Piper into the living room and towards a couch.

Piper didn’t argue and sat as he was directed.

“Is it all on your face? Or is there more that I can’t see?” James asked as he looked Piper’s face over carefully again.

Piper sighed heavily and steeled himself as he shook his head.

Hesitantly he shifts away from James, much to James’ displeasure, and gingerly removed his shirt, revealing his lean torso with just a _hint_ of muscle spread out along his arms and torso.

Scattered along with Piper endless amounts of freckles were bruises, cuts, and other wounds, all varying in size, shape and urgency.

James was confused as he had to swallow some … weird feeling. Just like why he was so honestly concerned and worried about his friend, he was feeling this feeling that made his stomach lurch, as if it was on a roller coaster, and felt as if his heart skipped a beat. But it wasn’t horror at the wounds like he expected. He could tell he felt that, but this new feeling was there, just as strong.

James had to tear his eyes away and decided to get up and go to Piper’s bathroom to grab Piper’s First Aid kit and a washcloth, which he dampened in the sink with warm water and soaped up.

“Seriously. What happened?” James called from the bathroom.

Piper didn’t answer, staring silently at the adjacent wall blankly.

“Piper?” James asked, surprised at the softness in his own voice, going to sit back down next to Piper, washcloth in hand.

After a few moments of silence between the two, Piper finally spoke up in a soft voice, just above a whisper. “It’s nothing.”

James looked at his beaten friend but again didn’t push, noticing how off the ginger was acting.

Choosing the safest route, James decided to start wiping down any and all bruises and wounds he could find and bandaged up his broken friend.

“Why are you acting so nice?” It wasn’t much of a question, and was again barely above a whisper, but it made James pause in wrapping Piper in gauze for a moment.

“I… I don’t know…” James said, honesty ringing in his voice, which was also spoken quietly.

A few short moments passed as James thought about the question, James shook his head and continued finishing bandaging Piper up. James reached forward, pulling Piper towards him, wrapping him in a comforting hug after they finished.

Neither of the two argued or moved till dawn broke, before which they had both drifted off on the couch.

And neither noticed the man who walked up to the back door close to midnight and peering in, the couch where the two sat in plain sight from the door.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want more angsty goodness involving Earl and Piper, please go check out my accidental inspiration for this part of the plot line: [To Love A Rogue](http://comics.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600060908) by Syrum. The only inspiration I meant to have was Smooth Criminal, but this works even better. Thank you for reading, and thank you Syrum for writing that fic!


	8. Annie Are You Ok?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Songs:  
> [Smooth Criminal](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x58qBu6FB6Q)  
> [The Pistol Annies~I Feel A Sin Comin’ On](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OaPh78WyV30)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: MENTIONED RELATIONSHIP/DOMESTIC ABUSE/RAPE. IF THESE THINGS BOTHER YOU, YOU MAY NOT ENJOY THIS AND THE NEXT CHAPTER. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.
> 
> I meant to say this earlier, but this story is unbetaed. If you see any errors, please let me know. I know I saw some the other day, but wasn't by my computer, so I couldn't fix them and lost where they were.

** Annie Are You Ok?**

** 1998 **

For once, James used Piper’s front door, instead of the window like he usually did, as he came back that night.

He had realized later in the day, that he had forgotten his jacket at Piper’s the night before, and after he was done for the day, decided to stop by Piper’s before heading home to his own apartment.

Which is why he was coming over around ten o’clock at night.

James stared in confusion as the door opened as he reached out to grab the doorknob, revealing that it wasn’t latched.

He eyed the door but pushed it open and walked inside. The blonde didn’t question either the unlatched door or the almost eery darkness that filled the smallish apartment.

Maybe Piper had a “guest” over? Latching the door behind you, or turning the lights on can be easily forgotten in that case, and are easily excused.

Maybe James ought to just take the hint and leave then? He knew Piper preferred men, but to be frank, James really _didn’t_ want to walk in on Piper and his “guest”, man _or_ woman.

But James found himself walking into the apartment either way.

Sure, he wouldn’t question the darkness or the unlatched door, but he _will_ question the completely silence that shrouded Piper’s apartment.

Not even the sound of a rat or two that always seemed to follow Piper around could be heard from inside.

Nor could the sound of the almost constant music Piper seemed to listen to wafted through the air.

In the almost two years that he had known Piper, not once had Piper ever _willingly_ surrounded himself in silence, even for just a few minutes, other than between song or album changes at least.

So… Maybe Piper wasn’t even home?

Jams would have to question him about that when he got back then.

But as James journeyed further into the darkened household, he realized that wasn’t the only thing that was off.

Furniture was ascue and/or knocked over, frames on the walls also ascue or on the ground, glass scattered around them, as if someone had been forced against the wall roughly.

Not even the instruments, which James _knew_ Piper was extremely protective over, were spared from whatever happened in here, the delicate looking, yet extremely tough instruments haphazardly thrown across the living room floor from their spot on Piper’s workbench.

James carefully stepped over a few of the discarded instruments, tools, and what looked like the remains of a broken vase, following the trail of destruction, which seemed to lead to the bedroom.

James seriously hoped this all wasn’t because of Piper and a… “partner”, and that James was about to walk in on them.

Sure, James accepted Piper and his preferences of partners, but the thought of walking in on them….

But on the other hand, what else could have happened in here?

There was a clear and obvious trail that lead to the bedroom, meaning either it was made on the way _to_ or _from_ the bedroom.

Maybe someone had broken in?

Unlikely. Piper had layers upon layers of state of the art security.

Or maybe Piper had gotten extremely frustrated at something at other and decided to take it out on inanimate objects?

Also unlikely. As Piper did get pissed off or frustrated occasionally, but never took it out on inanimate objects or anything of that like and was usually to level headed to get to that point.

But as James opened the door to the bedroom, he was only greeted with even more of the eery darkness and silence which engulfed the rest of the apartment, bringing along with it the dread of...

“Something’s not right.” James mummered to himself aloud, finally acknowledging the reason he had entered the apartment in the first place.

It was only as James’ eyes fully adjusted to the darkness of Piper’s bedroom, that James’ feeling of dread spiked. He could _just_ make out the shape of a lonesome body in an odd position, sprawled out across the bed, hands above the head.

James immediately felt across the wall for the light switch and upon finding it, almost immediately regretted it, his stomach dropping as he looked at his friend.

If he thought Piper was worse for wear last night when he helped patch him up, that was nothing compared to now.

Piper lied with his hands tied to the top corners of the bed with rough looking ropes, usually pale skin bright red under the sloppy yet strong bonds.

His pants were tossed into a corner of Piper’s room, which had knocked various items off the dresser in the process. His shirt was in even worse condition, as it had apparently been ripped open, the fabric in shreds, fullying exposing the ginger’s usually pale torso.

The ginger’s body was fully exposed, revealing numerous bruises, cuts, and various other wounds, some of which looked suspiciously like cigarette burns, all scattered over the reddened skin.

James wasted no time as he rushed to check on Piper, sighing in relief as he saw Piper’s chest moving, proving he was at least breathing.

Unfortunately, responsiveness was another story, as Piper gave no sign of movement when James called out to him or carefully shook his shoulder.

Reaching into his back pocket, James pulled out what looked like a pack of gum, flipping it open to reveal a pocket knife, cutting the ropes that bound Piper’s wrists.

As soon as he made sure Piper was freed, he reached into his other back pocket and produced his cell phone.

Flipping it open, he quickly dialed a number he thanked any gods out there that he had memorized.

Len.

Fidgeting nervously, he prayed that the other line picked up quickly.

After the phone rang a few times, which seemed like an eternity to The Trickster, who sat, watching over Piper carefully, the phone picked up and an almost gruff voice started speaking.

“Hello?”

Any other time or place, James would have found it amusing how the wrong man had picked the call up and the sound of clothes shuffling and the answerer telling someone to shush could clearly be heard across the line.

But this was neither the time, nor the place.

“Mick. Is Len there?” James demanded, panic slipping into his voice, no matter how much he tried keeping it cool and hiding how much he was panicking.

It unnerved Mick, hearing the raw emotion in the voice of someone who was known for his masks. Quickly shoving the phone over to Len, who blinked in surprise then took his phone from the other, the look of urgency not missed and met with Len’s own look of confusion.

“Hello?” Len answered in his usually cold voice.

“Len!” James breathed in relief before getting back into the seriousness of the situation. His friend needed help, and fast.

“What is it?” Len asked, quite annoyed to have his personal time cut into by the blond’s call.

Len immediately understood Mick’s expression though, finding it utterly _bone chilling_ how dead serious The Trickster’s voice became as he explained the situation and the world seemed to freeze.

“It’s Piper.” James hesitated, steeling himself and trying to put the mask that was rapidly slipping back on. “I-I came over to his place and… something must have happened before I got here…” James checked Piper over again and tried to calm down and tried to keep his voice from wavering, but failing. “His apartment looks like a fight broke out or something in the living room and bedroom and…”

“And what?!” Len barked. “Where’s Piper? Why should I care about what he did to his place?!” Len was getting annoyed. Really, he’ll care if one of his Rogues were hurt or something, but this was just property damage.

On the other hand, as he listened to James’ shaky on the other line, Len thought that maybe he _should_ care.

“Piper was tied to his bed. He’s covered in burns and bruises and… I don’t… I can’t….” James sounded close to tears. “He needs help, and I don’t know how…”

The world shattered as the reality of the situation wrapped itself around Len’s head.

“Any clue who the bastard responsible is?” Len growled out dangerously, ignoring how he even managed to scare Mick, who lay beside him, eyeing him with a mix of fear, confusion, curiosity, and a multitude of other emotions.

“No.” James tried hiding the sniffle. “Long gone when I got here.”

James stopped as he noticed the ginger in front of him started to stir.

“Hold on.” James said urgently to Len and set the phone down on the bedside table, freeing up his hands, ignoring the sounds of protests and curses that were stirring up from the other line.

“Piper?” James asked slowly, almost afraid to even _touch_ his battered friend. “Piper, can you hear me?”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I was typing this up, James became more and more hysteric. He was supposed to be freaking out, but I've done this before (can't remember where that was, may have been when I was writing this), where I made a character almost OOC for their reaction to panic and desperation. So yes, James is crying over this, but only cause he's REALLY freaking out I guess... Take it as you will. More to come sooner than I expected. The next chapter added itself, and I didn't know if it would go before or after this chapter, but it fit itself nicely just after this/technically during this? You'll see.
> 
> If you want more angsty goodness involving Earl and Piper, please go check out my accidental inspiration for this part of the plot line: [To Love A Rogue](http://comics.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600060908) by Syrum. The only inspiration I meant to have was Smooth Criminal, but this works even better. Thank you for reading, and thank you Syrum for writing that fic!


	9. He Struck You A Crescendo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Songs:  
> [Smooth Criminal](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x58qBu6FB6Q)  
> [The Sound of Silence](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4zLfCnGVeL4)  
> [The Pistol Annies~I Feel A Sin Comin’ On](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OaPh78WyV30)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: MENTIONED RELATIONSHIP/DOMESTIC ABUSE/RAPE. IF THESE THINGS BOTHER YOU, YOU MAY NOT ENJOY THIS AND THE NEXT CHAPTER. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.
> 
> PLEASE READ THE NOTE AT THE BOTTOM FOR THE MY LITTLE PSA/MEANING BEHIND THIS AND THE NEXT CHAPTER.
> 
> SORRY NOT SORRY FOR EXTREME FEELS and please let me know if you find any typos/errors, as this has not been betaed.

** He Struck You A Crescendo **

** 1998 **

As dawn broke Piper woke, feeling oddly warm and safe, two strong arms wrapped around him.

But something was off.

These arms felt gentle, barely touching him and more like gently resting on him and were also strangely not as large as he expected.

Looking behind him revealed the reason behind these differences; it wasn’t Piper’s boyfriend, rather his best friend, James.

But…. Why was James here? Let alone snuggled up with him on Piper’s couch? Piper didn’t remember going to sleep with James, and this was not a common habit the two had, sleeping with each other.

So the ginger’s sleep addled mind tried to remember the events of the previous night, trying to force the uncooperative puzzle pieces together, not noticing the other waking up behind him till James spoke up.

“I came over last night and bandaged you up, remember?” James supplied, not opening his eyes or even moving anything except his mouth.

Piper blinked as he finally remembered the night before.

“Yeah. Forgot ‘bout that…” Piper drawled slowly, not wanting to move an inch, lest James read that as a sign to remove his arms, taking with them the feeling of security and warmth.

James made a “hmm…” sound and Piper would have thought that he’d fallen back asleep if it weren’t for when James asked for the time a few minutes later.

“Just after nine thirty.” Piper answered after a yawn and a quick glance at the nearest clock.

“Hmm… You hungry? I’m hungry.” James questioned, finally opening his eyes and looking at Piper with his incredibly blue eyes, waiting for his answer.

Honestly, Piper was starved. But he really didn’t want to move.

Sure he could do the same thing with his boyfriend, but… This was the most secure and comforted that Piper had felt in an _extremely_ long time.

Yeah, Earl was loving at times, but he was _never_ this soft and gentle, or as comforting as James was at the moment.

And that scared Piper, making him feel extremely _guilty_ , even though Piper hadn’t _done_ anything.

But… Why did he feel more comfortable and _safe_ with James than _his own boyfriend?!_

“Piper?” James asked, looking to Piper still, those blue eyes seemingly darkening, his voice slowly growing hazy as the world suddenly grew dark around the corners. “Piper, can you hear me?”

Panic spread through Piper’s body like wildfire, leaving in it’s wake numbness and pain. The warmth and security of James’ arms around him and body behind him suddenly disappearing, leaving him also shivering at the sudden chill.

In his panic, Piper spun around to find James and beg him to come back, only to watch in complete horror as “James” began almost _melting_ away, turning into the familiar face of his boy friend, Earl.

Piper whimpered as intense pain racked his body as Earl’s face screwed up in anger, going slightly red, no longer the peaceful and caring face of James.

Piper tried desperately to apologize to Earl like he would usually do whenever Earl got mad at him. This wasn’t that uncommon a thing between them. But what couple doesn’t have their arguments?

But this time, no matter how hard he tried, no sound came out of Piper’s throat, mouth suddenly dry as a desert. His throat was tight and even though Piper’s breath was rapid, he couldn’t seem to get enough to breathe.

Then Earl reached for him.

Piper panicked and tried to get away, but he stood no chance against him. His body ached in more pain than he’s ever felt before and the brunette had multiple pounds, especially of muscle, on Piper, as well as a multiple inches, meaning Earl easily had him pinned, and Piper stood no chance of getting out of his hold.

Piper finally found his voice, screaming bloody murder, screaming out that he was sorry and _pleading_ Earl to stop.

Earl immediately stopped and backed away with a look Piper couldn’t distinguish, confusing Piper, as Earl had _never_ done that before. Usually he got angrier if Piper tried to protest, and that resulted in more darker and uglier bruises and aches.

So Piper had learned to not protest, but this time it hurt too much, feeling like he was being torn apart, limb from limb.

So this time, Piper tried getting away from him, scooting as far as he could. He knew he wouldn’t be able to stand by himself, let alone _walk or run away_ like he so desperately wanted to do.

Piper screamed out in pain after trying to move though, his entire body protesting violently.

He cried out in his panic as Earl tried to pin him again, pleading for Earl to forgive him and let him go. He’d stop fighting if he just let go.

“Piper!” ‘Earl’ called. “I’m not Earl! Just _look_ at me! Please _Piper!_ ”

Piper _tried_ to calm down, to look at ‘Earl’.

And when he did, he saw a look of panic, of worry, of fear… of _horror_ , clearly written upon ‘Earl’s’ face.

That… That wasn’t right… Earl never expressed emotions like that. Not this openly at least. He was too ‘tough’ for these ‘sissy’ emotions.

Then, as if the rain that Piper hadn’t notice had suddenly halted, or a heavy fog had suddenly lifted, Piper’s vision cleared, revealing James, who was pinning him, _begging_ him to stop moving and calm down, not Earl.

Piper couldn’t hold himself together any more, tears streaming down his reddened and already damp cheeks from his panic, confusion, and the pain that coursed throughout his entire body. He quickly sat up and clinged to the blond, ignoring the pain that movement brang, reveling in James’ scent, something sweet and light as air, as the blond clinged back.

James rubbed Piper’s back carefully, trying not to touch any of Piper’s wounds, muttering soothing words in Italian, to only be heard by the ginger in his arms, as his friend slipped back into blissful darkness.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this happens the morning after last chapter (the first part is Piper's memory, leading into a dream/nightmare).  
> My (not original, but soon after) intentions for this part of the story where to be a PSA that rape does happen. Even In. Relationships. You may think "oh, we're in a relationship, it's not rape, just sex", but the same laws go for that and other situations. If no consent is given to having sex from both partners (or more than both if the case fits), then it is rape.  
> Piper is in that mindset that it couldn't be rape cause they were in a relationship.  
> If you know someone who is in that mindset and situation, please get them help and have them report it. You're more likely to be hurt by people you know than strangers. That goes for all crimes out there. Not just rape.
> 
> If you want more angsty goodness involving Earl and Piper, please go check out my accidental inspiration for this part of the plot line: [To Love A Rogue](http://comics.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600060908) by Syrum. The only inspiration I meant to have was Smooth Criminal, but this works even better. Thank you for reading, and thank you Syrum for writing that fic!


	10. I Don't Know

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Songs:

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: MENTIONED RELATIONSHIP/DOMESTIC ABUSE/RAPE. IF THESE THINGS BOTHER YOU, YOU MAY NOT ENJOY THIS AND THE NEXT CHAPTER. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.
> 
> PLEASE READ THE NOTE AT THE BOTTOM FOR THE MY LITTLE PSA/MEANING BEHIND THIS AND THE NEXT CHAPTER.
> 
> SORRY NOT SORRY FOR EXTREME FEELS and please let me know if you find any typos/errors, as this has not been betaed.

** I Don’t Know **

** 1998 **

The next few days after James discovered Piper beaten and tied to the bed found the later with a new roommate. Or, rather, a friend who refused to leave Piper’s apartment.

James _refused_ to leave Piper alone, let alone _out of his eyesight_ for more than a few minutes.

Piper had found it endearing, at least at first, as James insisted on following him around the apartment like a little lost puppy, who whimpered and whined whenever its owner wasn’t in its sight.

Unfortunately, the cute and endearing lost some its charm after the first three times Piper had to kick said puppy out of the bathroom after trying to follow him in.

The first night, Piper had offered his couch to James, which was gladly accepted.

But when Piper awoke that morning, he found James asleep in the lounge chair in Piper’s room, with the excuse that Piper was whimpering and making various other noises in the dark of the night.

So naturally, James had to investigate and make sure his friend was ok.

Piper rolled his eyes, but if it weren’t for the remembrance of the nightmare from the previous night, causing him to fight back a shudder, he would have brushed James’ excuse as a lame story.

But after the second night of James moving from the couch to the lounge chair in the midst of the night, Piper gave in and asked James a question that was bothering him.

James froze mid pancake flip and Piper regretted opening his mouth.

Unfortunately, Piper’s mouth missed the memo to _shut up_ , as it blabbered on.

“I-I mean, my bed is a _lot_ more comfortable than my chair!” Piper blurted out.

James chuckled, causing Piper to pause in his self-kicking, and stare at the blond, who had gone back to making pancakes with a small smile.

“Yeah, I think I’ll take you up on that offer.” James chuckled.

Well, no turning back now. He’d offered his bed to share with the Italian, and he’d accepted. If james was going to insist on staying here, might as well let him be comfortable, and Piper only had one bed.

Piper was drawn back to reality as James asked him to grab the maple syrup and butter, then, after Piper did so, shoved him towards the table, following a second later with two plates, both stacked high with pancakes.

Piper laughed and just did as he was told.

“You know, you really don’t have to stay and watch over me.” Piper chuckled through a mouthful of his pancakes, unable to hold back the moan of pleasure that escaped his mouth as he devoured the fluffy and delicious pancakes.

James beamed proudly at the sound but quickly turned serious.  
“Yes I do. To make sure the asshat who did this to you doesn’t come back.” James justified, taking his fork and stabbing his pancakes with just a little more ‘umph’ than necessary and looking, if not glaring, at said plateful.

Piper wanted to shrink down and disappear at the ping of guilt and other emotions that raked his body at the sight of his friend hunched over his plate in anger.

Piper quickly steeled himself before speaking, hoping he didn’t stutter or squeak.

“It’s no big deal. It wouldn’t happen again.” the younger and smaller man said in a small voice, mentally wincing at how weak it sounded, even after his mental steeling.

James glared. Piper physically winced and shrank in his seat again.

If the musician had wanted to disappear before, that was nothing compared to now, as he sat under the Italian’s glare.

“Hartley,” James said angrily, not missing how Piper winced at the use of his real name in place of his nickname. “You were beaten and _raped_. This is _not_ something to just be brushed off and pretend it’s _nothing_!”

James looked Piper over with a distasteful look. “Unless…. You _know_ who it was, don’t you?!” he accused.

Piper suddenly found the previously delicious pancakes utterly unappetizing.

But James wasn’t letting it go.

“You _know_ who it was, don’t you?!” James demanded, standing up, hands on the table as he leaned towards Piper. “You’re covering up for them?! _Why_?! Hartley… Please listen to me… This is not something you can just forgive. Please don’t cover for them…” Demands turned begs, James was looking at Piper with sad, pleading eyes. He wasn’t angry at the ginger, just annoyed, frustrated, and confused as to why he was protecting his abuser. Unfortunately that came out as anger.

Piper mumbled something, which James strained his ears to hear, but couldn’t understand.

“What was that?” James asked carefully.

The ginger sat there silently, hands in his lap as he stared at his half-eaten plate of pancakes.

“Hartley?” James asked, voice more gentle than before as he reached over to touch his shoulder.

Piper shrugged away from James’ hand and said with a stern and determined, yet oddly unsure voice, “I said, it wasn’t. rape.”

“How was it not rape?” James deadpanned but was still interested in Piper’s answer.

“Because we-” Piper froze, not wanting to say what he almost had.

“Because what?” James pushed after Piper didn’t seem like he was going to continue.

“Because….” Piper started in a tiny voice, which grew quieter than a whisper as he paused to swallow, trying to wet his dry throat. “Because he’s my boyfriend….”

James sighed as he sat back down.

“Did you _want_ him to beat you and tie you to the bed and have intercourse with you?” James pointed out, getting frustrated again, but trying to keep himself in check.

“W-Well…” Piper fumbled.

“Did you ask him to stop?” James mentally winced as he noticed his voice growing harsher as it gained volume.

“Y-....Well...I…” Piper couldn’t find the right answer. He didn’t remember much of the other night’s events, but he remembered screaming and begging for Earl to stop.

James took that as a yes.

“Did he stop when you protested? Did he ever once _ask_ you if that was what you _wanted_?!” James regretted saying these things as soon as he said them, especially as he began yelling them to his cowering friend.

“N-No…” Piper was close to tears at this point.

“Then explain to me how it ‘wasn’t rape’.” James challenged.

“I-It just wasn’t, ok?!” Piper snapped, trying to stop the tears that he didn’t know why he was fighting.

James wasn’t convinced.

“How?” he asked. “How was it not rape? How is this something you apparently think is excusable or forgivable?! It was abuse and rape! Did you _want_  him to have intercourse with you that night?!” James asked again, stressing each word of his last question.

He eyed Piper, waiting for his response.

“N-No….” Piper hung his head.

“Did you ask him to stop? Did you tell him you didn’t want it?” Another harsh look, which went unnoticed by the ginger, as he stared downward.

“Y-Yeah, but…”

“Did he listen to you and stop?”

“....no….” Piper mumbled in a  whispered voice.

“Then explain to me how that’s not rape.” James asked, voice losing it’s anger and intensity, as it became gentle, caring, and slightly sad.

Piper was silent.

“‘Oh it’s not rape if we’re in a relationship~!’” James mocked in a high pitched, near Mickey Mouse voice, flailing his hands around to add to the mockery.

James watched as Piper shrank back down into his seat even further.

“I call bullshit.” James sat back in his chair and crossed his arms, carefully watching Piper. “Just because you’re in a relationship doesn’t mean rape can’t happen. And it did. Piper, please, listen to me. Don’t forgive him and shrug it off as if it was just nothing.”

“Ok!” Piper yelled, jumping up from his seat. “I get it, I shouldn’t forgive him. But… I can’t… I can’t do anything about it….” Piper sat back down in defeat, voice growing small again. There was no way he could fight back against Earl, no matter how much he suddenly realized he seriously wanted to.

Piper was confused by this realization.  
How long had he wanted to fight back? Why had it taken so long to realize this want? This need? This desire?

“Why not? Who is it? Big guy I take it?” James questioned. Yeah he knew of Piper orientation, but not of his type. For all he knew, Piper could go for smaller men, or larger men, or men his own size.

Piper nodded at the last question. Even though Piper wasn’t exactly small or scrawny, Earl was easily two or three times the size of the musician.

Earl also lived up to his other name, of Fury, with his short fuse and violent temper.

“Earl Povich.” Piper answered quietly, but still loud enough for James to hear.

Piper thought that maybe James wouldn’t know who Earl was, as James grew silent as he tried placing a face with the name he was given.

Unfortunately, James simply asked, “Fury?” to which Piper nodded again and looked down again.

“Hey, you remember the promise I made you the other week?” James asked suddenly, surprising the ginger across the table from him.

“What promise?” Piper asked, blinking in complete confusion.

“That if you _ever_ need me to beat up, or  _help_ you beat up someone, I’ll be there in a heartbeat or less.” James smiled warmly as he leaned over to gently cover Piper’s cold hands with his own, slightly larger and warmer hands.

Piper slowly looked back up to James, slowly return the soft, comforting smile, cheeks ever so slightly covered in a dusting of pink color.

James’ smile grew at the sight of the smile and blush.

“And I intend to keep that promise. For as long as we know each other.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this part of the story is intended to be almost like a PSA that rape does happen. Even. In. Relationships. You may think "oh, we're in a relationship, it's not rape, just sex", but the same laws go for that and other situations. If no consent is given to having sex from both partners (or more than both if the case fits), then it is rape.
> 
> Piper is in that mindset that it couldn't be rape cause they were in a relationship.
> 
> If you know someone who is in that mindset and situation, please get them help and have them report it. You're more likely to be hurt by people you know than strangers. That goes for all crimes out there. Not just rape.
> 
> If you want more angsty goodness involving Earl and Piper, please go check out my accidental inspiration for this part of the plot line: [To Love A Rogue](http://comics.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600060908) by Syrum. The only inspiration I meant to have was Smooth Criminal, but this works even better. Thank you for reading, and thank you Syrum for writing that fic!


	11. Promise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Songs:  
> [Dixie Chicks~Goodbye Earl](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gw7gNf_9njs)  
> [NSync~Bye Bye Bye](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Eo-KmOd3i7s)  
> [Christina Aguilera~Fighter](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PstrAfoMKlc)  
> 

_**Promise** _

_**1998** _

Piper had texted Earl after that conversation upon James’ suggestion.

He knew James had a plan, but had not a clue of what said plan was. The only thing James had told him was to type up a message to James and to hit send if or when Earl raised a hand against him.

That message read one simple word, which that day, meant so much to Piper; Promise.

But the next day, during their meeting, Earl’s fuse seemed even shorter than usual, blaming Piper for what he did to the smaller man.

  
  


 

 

That message was sent within the first five minutes.

 

And Piper discovered just what James’ master plan was, as the blond jumped out of seemingly nowhere and….

  
  


Let’s just say that no one is exactly sure of Earl’s current whereabouts.

Maybe he’s in prison, like he rightfully belongs?

Maybe he’s out of country?

  
  
  
  


 

 

 

 

Maybe he’s dead?

  
  
  
  


 

 

 

 

But Piper and James are Rogues through and through, and would never kill unless they had to, and honestly? They didn’t care about what happened to Earl, as long as they never crossed paths again.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woo~ Two chapters for all of you today~ Totally not because I didn't realize I hadn't posted the last chapter... >.


	12. Going Straight... Figuratively

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Songs:  
> Please send suggestions for songs! :)

**Going Straight… Figuratively**

**2005**

Piper chuckled to himself as he thought about the memories later on.

Yeah, he may hate Earl’s guts till the end of time and beyond, but Piper prided himself in learning from his mistakes.

For one, Earl had taught him how to take a punch, and along with it, how to use his smaller frame to his advantage, gaining thickness to his skin, mentally and physically.

Also… Piper had learned that he could rely on James. And James could rely back on him.

But that was a few years ago.

James and Piper hadn’t seen or talked to each other in well over a year.

That was the only thing that made Piper regret his choices.

He missed James. Wished he still saw him, at least every here and there, but even after Piper had moved from Central City, he couldn’t help but read up on any news that made its way to him.

James had seemingly vanished as well.

Times change and recently, things had been changing and getting darker and darker much faster than anyone would ever imagined.

Gone were the days where villains committed crimes for the shits and giggles. And in its place where villains who wouldn’t hesitate to murder, rape, maim, and countless other crimes.

There were more villains killing for fun than there were heroes to stop them nowadays.

Heroes broke their own vows to never kill.

And people became scared and stopped trusting others, especially the “heroes”.

Times were dark, and Piper soon realized he didn’t want to play this “game” anymore.

It used to be about having fun. A little game of cat and mouse, cop and robber.

Piper tried keeping up, tried keeping his head above the dark waters, but was quickly drowned in the depths of the murky darkness.

His mind snapped from the efforts of keeping up. Cracking and breaking around the edges.

He was in a haze, and when he awoke from it, he was sitting alone, nothing but white around him as he sat, staring at the empty wall in front of him, loosely aware of the loose straitjacket he was in.

After a while, a small female, a nurse, his mind provided, came in to give him his dinner and pills she said would “help” him.

She was nice. She had short, dark brown hair in a bob and a friendly smile. She didn’t treat him like he was complete scum.

He stared at the tray of food, barely registering the fact that he was hungry.

He asked the nurse where he was, and she replied in a sweet voice, that he was in the Breedmore Mental Hospital.

That was odd… Why was he there?

The nurse responded, (had he said that aloud?) that the Flash rushed him there after he had had a nervous breakdown.

But he was better now.

After he got even better, the doctors let him fix the public address system after it started malfunctioning.

Their mistake.

Piper saw his chance and gladly took it.

It was nice here. The doctors and nurses were so nice to him and he felt safe.

But he wanted out. It was too white, too sterile here.

He used the speakers to broadcast a hypnotic frequency throughout the hospital, which he used to make his escape.

He forgot how dark and scary the world had been before he went into Breedmore, and it seemed even more so now.

So again, Piper gave in.

He talked to the Flash. Told him he wanted to give in, give up. Told him he wanted out of this game. He didn’t want to be a bad guy anymore in this rapidly darkening world. He just couldn’t do it anymore.

He expected to be whisked away in the blink of an eye, to see his cell in Iron Heights. He prepared for the gut wrenching pull of being almost dragged at super speed, prepared himself for the torture that he _knew_ was waiting for him during his imprisonment at Iron Heights.

But it never came.

Instead, a gentle hand was placed on Piper’s tensed shoulder, and when Piper looked up at the Flash hesitantly, his scared and timid blue eyes were met by caring green ones and a warm smile down at him.

Piper had soon found himself forming a friendship with the speedster, who explained the different reaction.

The smaller ginger had expected Barry’s reaction. The black or white view. He couldn’t just decide he wanted to reform, it must be a trap!

But, was met with Wally’s accepting reaction. Wally was originally Kid Flash. He was more gentle and caring than his predecessor.

And Piper wouldn’t trade anything for that acceptance and friendship.

So Piper couldn’t say no to moving to New York with Wally after a few months. “Get a chance to branch out, see a different city.” was his argument.

And Piper loved it.

He’d discovered his passion for helping the homeless in New York. He made rounds to stores and restaurants to gather up any stale or past “sell-by” date foods to hand out to those who needed it.

Piper was having a normal day, he’d slept till noon, had breakfast at some smaller cafe with the most delicious muffins he’d had in forever. On his way back home, he checked his mailbox, not fully expecting anything, but gladly surprised when he found a letter in his mailbox, even more surprised and delighted when it turned out to not be junk mail, but a handwritten letter from his mother.

Weird. He hadn’t really talked with either of his parents since moving out.

Piper carefully read it over as he walked back into his apartment.

It seemed innocent enough. Mum just wanted him to visit home. Seemed like that was all.

Within a week of getting that letter, Wally announced that he was going to move back to Keystone. ‘Too many people trying to kill him in New York.’

Piper had offered to come along with Wally and Mason, Wally’s neighbor who was going to room with Wally back in Keystone.

Why not kill two birds with one stone. Help Wally and Mason move and visit his family.

Which is why Piper found himself in the same car as Wally and Mason, bound for Keystone City.

Most of the conversation had been simple small talk, catching up on each other’s lives between the gingers, or Piper and Mason getting to know each other.

Piper was mentally cheering as when they finally spotted the entrance sign to Keystone City.

He loved Wally as dear as a friend could, but after spending the last eighteen or so hours trapped in the same car as him, he was well past ready for a break.

Especially after Wally, who had been driving at the time, suddenly vanished, leaving the car drifting down the middle of the busy street.

Piper and Mason looked around in confusion as they suddenly noticed Wally’s disappearance mid-sentence.

They two yelled out in surprise and fear as they realized what their mutual friend had done, scolding him when he returned within seconds.

A few minutes later they pulled up to a decent sized red house with a white picket fence.

“Say Wally…” Mason asked as they pulled to a stop. “Are you _sure_ you shouldn’t have _called_ first?”

Wally brushed the suggestion off and replied, “No problem. She’s a pal. She’ll be _glad_ to see us.”

“Well, yeah, but....” Mason sighed in defeat.

Wally, oblivious to Mason’s argument, continued, “She was the wife of the original Flash. She _loves_ surprises!”

Joan turned from her garden work as she heard familiar voices.  
“Wally?” She asked in surprise, as the last she heard, Wally was in New York.

So understandably, she wasn’t expecting to have him stop by in car, especially with his two friends.

Joan chuckled and thought to herself that _maybe_ this was just a dream, and she’d wake up after counting to ten, but they were still there after her counting.

Later found the group in the living room of the Garrick’s and catching up with each other.

“Boy, all these pictures of the first Flash. He had some career!” Wally whistled in admiration as he looked over the pictures and newspaper clipping that were hanging on one wall. “I’m sure now I made the right choice. This already feels like home!”

Oh dear lord, how Joan prayed Wally was just talking about Keystone City, and not her house. She loved Wally like a nephew or grandson, but she knew she or her house wouldn’t stand long or well with him staying here.

So in a gently prying voice, she asked, Uh… Home?”

Unfortunately, Wally didn’t exactly answer her question, instead replying, “Yeah. I’m going to do great things here. I can feel it!”

Joan internally sighed and finally asked her question.

“Wally dear… Where were you planning to spend the night? I mean, besides here, since it’s obviously too small.”

She hoped he got what she was hinting.

“Uhh… Right…” Wally said with an apologetic face. “Of course, we never planned… uh…”

Mason chuckled as he scratched his nose. “Obviously.”

Luckily, Piper jumped in to say, “Look, guys. Why don’t you crash at my folks’ place for tonight? They’ve got tons of room!”

Joan held back a sigh of relieve as she thanked god for that suggestion.

“After all, my mom _did_ ask me to visit.” Piper continued. “I’ll just call… Make sure it wasn’t some _other_ son she meant to invite.” he added jokingly.

Piper dialed the phone, and after a few rings, it was picked up and he heard his mother’s voice, not noticing anything off.

“Hi, mummy! Guess who’s little bad penny this is?” he joked. “I brought a couple of friends to spend the night. I hope that’s ok. I know this is kind of short notice, but…” he explained to his mother over the phone.

Everything seemed normal.

Until Rachel Rathaway responded, her answer stumping Piper.

“Oh, no, Mr. Jiggs. Tuesday will be fine.”

Her voice was calm and composed to anyone who didn’t know her or have Piper’s amazing hearing, but Piper easily heard the distress and horror in her voice.

“Tuesday? Mr. Jiggs?” Piper asked after “his mother” abruptly hung up.

Wally quickly turned to Piper to ask, “Trouble, do you think?”

“Jay used to say, if you _had_ to ask, it _was_.” Joan added.

“Jiggs was a _puppet_ I had when I was five.” Piper thought aloud.

Piper quickly gave Wally rough directions to the Rathaway manor, as Joan drew him a map with directions, saying his mother had told her Wally had a “little trouble with directions”.

Wally confidently ran off to the manor.

“I hate it when he’s confident.” Piper groaned.

“Perhaps we should follow him…. in your truck?” Joan suggested.

Mason replied negatively. “ Nix, lady. You stay here. Wally’ll kill me if you got hurt.”  
Meanwhile, Piper wasn’t paying attention though, as he angrily yelled, “If someone hurts my folks, I’ll play them a merry tune!”

“Mason Trollbridge!” Joan yelled, poking him on the chest as she scolded him. “It took me _20 years_ to get Jay to stop treating me like  _Dresden china_. I’m _not_ going to start over with you at my age!”

Mason watched her as he listened to her little rant.

“Lady, you got yourself a ride. Buckle your seatbelt an’ don’t spit on the floor!” he said.

Wally, expectedly, had arrived long before the others.

But they weren’t expecting Wally to be currently bound and hanging upside down, Rachel and Osgood both tied to chairs near him, with multiple men in suits and a monster of a man, who were spread out around the large room.

One of which had Jerrie in his hold.

“Everyone stop this! You are surrounded!” Joan bluffed as they charged in.

The suited man by Wally and the Rathaway parents startled and looked to Joan, yelling out, “An old woman? Seize her!”

But Piper didn’t hear that as he ran in behind Joan, because as soon as he stepped inside, he saw the man holding Jerrie, and he saw red.

He raced up to her, not even registering that Mason was yelling out “Hit ‘em quick kid! We won’t be alone up here f’r long!”.

Piper ran up to the man holding Jerrie, instrument at the ready.

“You tried to hurt my _sister_ , you-”

_TWWEET_

Piper let loose the loudest note he could from his instrument, directly next to the man’s ear, causing the man to crumple in pain and let go of Jerrie.

He pulled Jerrie close as he looked over the others, who were holding there own, Wally now freed by Jason.

“That was a really loud one, Hartley.” Jerrie complained softly.

Piper ushered her to safety, responding, “I know honey, sorry.”

He wished he could go join in the fight, but it seemed Wally had taken on the larger man in a metal-looking suit.

But Wally could still use help, so when Piper found an opportunity, he took it.

Walking up to the intruders, he said, “Guess what? I feel a song coming on!”

And with that, he raised his instrument, and a loud “ _SRREEEEEEE_!” and a few swift super speed punches from the two gingers, and the large metal man was down for the count.

“Cooperation, Mr. Flash.” Piper said.

“Teamwork, Mr. Piper.” Flash responded.

After the Rathaways were freed, the group gathered together to talk.

“The prodigal returneth, dad.” Piper started. “And I brought trouble, just the way I always do. Sorry.”

Osgood Rathaway just scoffed.

“This wasn’t your trouble son. I got into money problems with the local ‘boys’ when I got their account book. I thought I could use it as leverage.” he explained. “You and your friends _saved_ us! I’m proud of you, son.”

Piper was shocked to hear those words and quickly embraced his father in a tight hug, which was thankfully returned, as he felt his eyes grow damp.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so this chapter took forever.... If the second half seems a bit weird, it's because I was literally writing what happened in the Flash, issue #32, from November of '89. If you don't know who Jerrie is, she's Hartley's younger sister and is mentally handicapped in some way. They don't go into much detail, but I recommend that you go read the issue itself!
> 
> So, I don't own the issue that Jerrie was in, and that issue idea with it.


	13. Dealing With the Devil

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Song(s) Used:  
> [Kongos~Come With Me Now](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gz2GVlQkn4Q)  
> [Corinne Bailey Rae~Trouble Sleeping](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y2IeSZTid88)  
> Please send me any other songs you think fit with this or any other chapter!

** Dealing With The Devil **

** 2009 **

James sighed.

He was lonely, and it had little to do with the fact that he was currently sitting on an empty rooftop, looking over the city as the sun began to set.

Not five years ago, he’d be dropping things like water balloons filled with ink or other goop onto the unsuspecting passerbys.

Not three years ago, he’d be roaming the city in the sky with his airwalker shoes.

But he’d given up his jokes, shoes, and costume.

In their place, a dullness, badge, and a business suit.

And James hated every second of it.

He missed the fun, the adventure…

… The trueness in his action and true friends.

Yeah, as an FBI agent, he had adventure and friends, but it wasn’t the same.

The adventure lacked any fun. It was just business.

The friends were more co-workers than friends. He missed teammates he’d gladly share a beer with and talk about more than just business without one or both sides being bored to death.

  
  


He missed the Rogues.

  
  
  
  


 

… He missed Piper….

  
  


So James sat on the rooftop of the FBI headquarters, thinking to himself, reminiscing on the last few years.

It had been almost six years since he’d last talked to Piper.

Piper had moved, and soon after, James did as well.

He’d gone to California, worked as a stunt effects technician for Blue Devil,

Then he was pulled back to the Twin Cities.

Nothing had forced him, but he just found himself gravitated back to the place he first called _home_.

Soon after, he’d caught wind of something _big_ in the criminal world.

Some new big baddie was sending out special invites to join him in his fight for something or other. This invites were apparently these long green candles. Lighting one of these candles would let you in or something.

James never got one, but Bivolo, Rainbow Raider, did.

So James stole his.

It turned out that these candles transported the lighter into Hell.

Literally, Hell.

Screaming damned souls, eerie green flames everywhere you look, the works.

Plus the man in charge, who was as close as you could get to a mix between the Devil and a David Bowie wannabe.

Neron quickly took a liking to James oddly, and that only made him want to cross Neron and get the hell out of Hell even more.

In the end, James tricked him and successfully escaped, Neron cursing his name, and James beginning to rethink his life.

Soon after that fiasco, James went good, joined the FBI and became a shell of himself.

He missed the good ol’ days, when it was fun, but that “fun” would definitely send him straight back down to Neron.

And that downright _terrified_ James.

It’s not like villainy was the same anymore though.

There was too much competition with villains who didn’t hesitate to kill or maim, even innocents.

And villainy had slowly lost its “fun” to James, even before that. Without Piper, James had started drifting from the Rogues.

From his family.

So James sat, staring at where the sun had long since set, the city beginning to light up in the streets and buildings.

Even though the city was buzzing, it was cold. Void of happiness or life.

Strictly business.

Just like James’ life felt.

 

 


	14. Is This... Love?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

>   
>  (First Half)  
> [Skillet~Monster](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1mjlM_RnsVE)  
> [Evanescence~Everybody’s Fool](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jhC1pI76Rqo)  
> [Alice In Chains~What The Hell Have I](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qKXIk45pL0o)  
> [Billy Joel~The Stranger](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bnlvPoDU5LY)  
> [Panic! At The Disco~Mercenary](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZPRVKNc97ws)  
> (Last half)  
> [Rihanna~Hate That I Love You](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KMOOr7GEkj8)  
> [Corinne Bailey Rae~Trouble Sleeping](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y2IeSZTid88)  
> [Taylor Swift~I'd Lie](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tCuzMK3pXck)  
> [Colbie Caillat~Fallin’ For You](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LiPmzAo_vhM)  
> [Whitney Houston~How Will I Know](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m3-hY-hlhBg)  
> [Whitney Houston~Run to You](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h9rCobRl-ng)  
> [Colbie Caillat~Fallin’ For YouMeghan Trainor~Sweet Sweetie Pie](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=guCPcf9Iti8)  
> 

** Is This… Love? **

**2011**

James had been an FBI agent for around three years by now, and numerous times, he'd almost lost himself.

Gone was James Jesse, the Trickster.

And here, in James Jesse's place, in his shell of a body, was FBI Agent Jesse.

It was a mask, but James was scared to show the world the true him again. Scared he'd end up at Neron's doorstep again.

So James was confused when he got the orders to lead the team signed to him. A team with the goal of taking down the Rogues.

His family.

But he was pleasantly surprised when his team was comprised of some of his past family.

Mick Rory, Heat Wave.

Frances Kane, Magenta.

And Hartley Rathaway, Pied Piper.

And like that, James was again overwhelmed by these weird feelings whenever he thought of Piper... Hartley... Things changed, and James had to remember that.

Times had taken their toll on his friend, other than his change in name preference.

He wasn't cheery anymore, and James hasn't seen a single smile, even just a ghost off one, even state across his face.

Not that the same couldn't be said about James.

But currently, James was leaning against a countertop in the FBI break room, sipping his mug of coffee as he listened to a female agent prattle on and on about her fiancé, who had recently proposed.

James wasn't really listening though, as his thoughts keeps creeping back to his red-headed co-worker, thinking of possible ways to see him smile once again.

“It’s true love, I’m sure of it~!” the younger agent said dreamily.

James rolled his eyes at her.

She was still so young and naïve, not yet exposed to real life and its horrors.

James scoffed and dismissively asked, “What the hell is true love? I’m pretty sure it’s just something parents make up to tell their kids to hide the horrors in the world. Give them false hopes.”

The female agent, James just realized he’d forgotten her name… Agent… Something. What’s a name? Swimmy, Swammy, Swanson.

She looked at James with surprise then thought.

“True love is…. It’s... “ She tried.

When she could finally piece more than three words together for her description, it shook James more than he could ever have expected.

“It’s when you feel at home with the person. You know you could show them the ‘true you’, and that they’d still accept you in half a heartbeat. You know them, and they know you, and you know each other’s quirks, which may drive you up the wall, yet you _live_ for those quirks. Whenever you see something, you think of them. Whenever you plan something, you think of them. You _strive_ on making them happy, and if they’re happy, then that’s all you need. You could go days with nothing. No food, water, shelter, and you’d still be happy, as long as they’re happy. Yes, you can still get mad at them for different things, but whenever you’re around them, you feel _better_ and it’s harder to be anything but happy around them, harder to think of anything else, anything but them, let alone being mad. That’s… That’s what true love is.” she explained, a blissful smile spread lazily across her face, missing the look of near horror that was spread not so lazily across James’ face.

Agent Lovebird sighed in her blissful thoughts of her fiancé as James set his half empty mug down in the sink and walked out of the break room.

 

Passing Hartley, who was on his way into the room James was leaving, in the process.

  


Yesterday, James would have given a weak smile and made a small conversation with him.

Hell, he would have done that five minutes ago.

But now… After that conversation with the other agent, James couldn’t do more than make a pained face at seeing him, as he rushed away.

James tried his best to hold himself together as his world began crashing down on itself, as things began putting themselves together and making more sense.

He was no longer looking at the pieces, but the nearly complete puzzle.

  
  


_He was in love with his old best friend._

 

The best friend he felt _lost_ without. The best friend he’d give _anything_ to see happy again. The best friend who no matter _how_ much James tried, he _couldn’t_ stay mad at for longer than a few minutes. The best friend he felt the most at _home_ with.

James had memorized everything about him, from the blues and greens in his eyes, to the way he’s always been addicted to music, to the way that he’ll listen to blasting music, even if it possibly hurts his ears, to the way that if he’s not listening to music, he possibly listening to people’s heartbeats or something else around him. Or to the way Hartley would lose himself in his instruments and would light up like a Christmas tree when explaining his new gadget or instrument. And to the way he’d quickly get defensive whenever his younger sister, Jerrie, was brought up, and how adorable he got when he was flustered, remembering the time James commented on how cute she was. Or how Hartley could never look James in the eye when lying to him and how he always had that shade of pink that dusted his face when lying, And James could never stay mad _at_  or _around_ Hartley, no matter what he was originally mad at, or _how_ mad he originally was.

 

To the way it hurt to see Hartley changed by time.

No longer was he happy and carefree, but weighed down by everything that had happened.

And James would give anything, just to see him happy again.

But the scariest part…

  
  


 

James didn’t know how long he’d been in love.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> UGGGGHHHH I wanted/originally had Axel mentioned in this chapter, but I had to take him out cause reasons. He'd be too old in the long run.
> 
> It makes me sad... T^T
> 
> Ok, so lots of songs for this chapter, but there were two main things happening: James losing himself in the FBI, and James realizing he's in love. Some of these songs will be used latter as well, but still feel free to PLEASE send in any other songs you know of that will fit~!
> 
> Next chapter is shorter, but the chapter after that is... funny? In a way? You'll have to wait and find out. Hopefully I'll get them typed up and posted soon!
> 
> Anyways, until next time, see you, and thank you so much for reading~!


	15. Masks and Monkey Suits

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Song(s):  
> [Queen~Bohemian Rhapsody](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r5yaoMjaAmE%E2%80%9D>Christina%20Perri~Human</a>%0A<a%20href=)  
> [Billy Joel~The stranger](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1mjlM_RnsVE%E2%80%9D>Skillet~Monster</a>%0A<a%20href=)  
> [Alice in Chains~What the Hell Have I](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jhC1pI76Rqo%E2%80%9D>Evanescence~Everybody's%20Fool</a>%0A<a%20href=)  
> [Skillet~Monster](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1mjlM_RnsVE)  
> [Evanescence~Everybody’s Fool](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jhC1pI76Rqo)  
> [Alice In Chains~What The Hell Have I](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qKXIk45pL0o)  
> [Christina Perri~Human](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r5yaoMjaAmE)  
> 

**Masks And Monkey Suits**

**2011**

It hurt Hartley, to see that look James gave him as he squeezed past him in the break room doorway.

The look was confusing. It was a mix fear, confusion, pain, anger, disgust, and a mix of a multitude of other emotions.

Hart had been relying on James lately. He was the only familiar thing in his life recently.

That familiarity was the only thing that was helping Hartley fight his sanity.

After his original breakdown, he’d been struggling to keep himself out of places like Breedmore, but after Mirror Master had killed his parents and framing Hartley after implanting false memories of killing them, resulting in Hartley turning himself in and going to Iron Heights for a little while. After having an interaction with Joker Venom while in Iron Heights, and realizing how _easily_ and how _much_ he wanted to _kill_ Digger, even though Wally managed to prove him innocent and got him out of Iron Heights. After Wally, Linda, and their twins suddenly disappeared, leaving Hartley alone, no family, biological, Rogue, or hero, as the Rogues viewed him as a “traitor” for reforming on them, and the hero world seeing him as an ex-villain, who “could easily return to his “villainous ways”’.

After all of this, the weight it bared on him, his every move, every breath, every word he uttered, he was losing the internal battle to keep his sanity, and it was crashing down on him like a tsunami.

He _needed_ James.

And suddenly, James grew cold to him.

Hartley hadn’t shown just _how much_ he needed and appreciated James’ constant attempts to make his day a little brighter, a little better, a little easier to handle.

And like that… It was gone.

Like someone had blown out the candle…

 

...The one that seemed to have warmed James’ heart, leaving it cold and hard.

 

Hartley didn’t even enter the break room,instead watching James’ retreating form, as he almost ran through the office, away from Hartley and his breaking heart.

From there on, it was obvious James was trying to avoid him. Sending him similar looks to the one in the break room doorway whenever he thought Hartley wasn’t looking. Only staying in the same room as him as long as he had to, quickly making lame excuses to leave, “Paperwork, you know?”.

But, no matter how much Hartley hurt, no matter how much each moment with James began to feel like a stab to the heart, he hid it from the world.

Tried to even hide it from himself.

No one knew how much toll that took on him though. No one knew how _dead_ he felt inside.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to put a picture I drew for this chapter here at the end of the story (not in the notes though), but the code I found to do so doesn't want to work. If you know how to put a picture in AO3, please let me know.
> 
> Until then, the picture is here:
> 
>  
> 
> [Hart's Broken Heart](http://36.media.tumblr.com/89a5222b7feca850f49569eba37c2c15/tumblr_nwy6puubxy1u1jxdto1_1280.jpg)


	16. Clever Disguises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Song(s) Used:  
> [Shania Twain~Feel Like A Woman](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZJL4UGSbeFg)  
> [Aerosmith~Dude Looks Like A Lady](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nf0oXY4nDxE)  
> 

**Clever Disguises**

**2012**

Running.

That was what their lives had become.

Running and adrenaline.

Those were the only things that kept the monsters at bay and distracted Hartley from the horror his life had become.

But as much as Hartley _hated_ the moments he and James were running, he hated the moments they _weren’t_ even more.

 _Fortunately_ , those moments were few and between.

 _Unfortunately_ , when they _did_ come around, they were filled with the realization that Hartley and James were on the run from the _world_ for the _murder of The Flash_.

Of murdering a _child_.

Just the _thought_ of it made Hartley want to curl up and die.

Even though _they didn’t do it_.

But it was only their word that could save them

And really, how much is the word of two criminals gone-good-gone-bad worth, when set against everyone else in the world?

So Hartley and James ran, with no way of proving their innocence.

James ducked into a store in the mall they were in, somehow not sticking out like a sore thumb, pulling Hartley in with him.

Hartley really hated these handcuffs.

Maybe without them, he’d be freed from James.

From the pain he felt.

From the betrayal.

From the homophobia.

He’d run away. Never see daylight again. That’d lessen the pain. Distance.

Ever since just over a year ago, Hartley swore he didn’t even know James anymore.

James had grown distant and cold towards him.

But Hartley could live with that.

What he couldn’t live with, however, was how as soon as they were handcuffed together by the Suicide Squad, James had suddenly shown a whole new side of him, which Hartley could have gone his whole life without witnessing.

The homophobic side.

Every time the two were not currently running, James was complaining about being “gay by proximity” or some bullshit of that sort.

Hartley had dealt with his fair share of taunts or jabs about being homosexual, but it honestly surprised his just how deep each hurtful word from James cut.

So Hartley tried to keep himself distracted. Focus on the chase for freedom, not on James, not on who was chasing them, not on the reason they were on the run.

Just on the run itself.

Keep moving and don’t think about it too much.

But then he caught the look in James’ eye, as the blond stared at the mannequins that were on display in the women’s clothing store the two were currently in.

Hartley tried to ignore the look, but when James turned to him with a wide grin, Hartley found that an increasingly hard feat.

“No.”

Hartley didn’t even let James open his mouth. He knew James and that look, and how it was almost _always_ followed with a bad or _stupid_ idea.

Or at least, he _did_.

“I have an idea.” James outright ignored any arguments Hartley gave him.

Hartley sighed in defeat, knowing how useless it was to try and stop James once he had an idea like now, and not finding the energy in himself to even _try_.

James snuck up to the mannequins and grabbed two wigs from their heads and then made a beeline to some racks of clothes, dragging Hartley behind him.

Hartley was lost as he watched James looking through the racks of women’s clothing, wigs under his arm.

Finally, James shoved a shirt, then  a jacket into Hartley’s arms.

He looked at James, speechless in his surprise and confusion, as James turned and pulled out a shirt and jacket from another rack, and a pair of black pants from another.

Without explaining, James looked around before locating the changing rooms and pushing Hartley over to them.

“ _What are you doing?!_ ” Hartley demanded in a hushed voice so not to attract unwanted attention from the scattered others in the shop, yet wanting James to explain himself.

“Either forming our escape, or embarrassing the hell out of us both.” James explained as he pushed Hartley into the largest changing room. “Hopefully only the first choice.”

Hartley turned to argue, but James cut him off.

“Just… Just trust me and go with it. Get changed.” James demanded.

“ _How?!_ ” Hartley demanded. “In case you haven’t noticed, we’re _stuck_ in our clothes!”

“Shh!” James shushed him before speaking up. “Just put them on over top.” He paused. “Take your cloak off though.”

Somehow the two managed to get fully dressed, though James insisted on Hartley turning as he changed pants, insisting that his stripes being a dead give-away.

Hartley rolled his eyes but obliged without arguing.

That didn’t stop him from sneaking a quick peek over his shoulder at the striping Italian’s turned, toned backside, resulting having to fight a blush.

“I still don’t see how this will help us.” he said skeptically.

James smirked and reached out and carefully placed one of the wigs onto Hartley’s head and gently arranged it, centering it and arranging the soft ginger waves of the medium length Titan wig with fingers so gentle they left Hartley’s skin tingling whenever they brushed his skin and a soft, warm smile that left him reeling.

“There.” James said softly, backing up a step and out of Hartley’s personal space and gestured to the mirror. “Convincing or no?”

Hartley ignored James’ proud smile as he stared into the female in front of him, as he suddenly realized it was _himself_.

There he stood, in his reflection, an olive green tee hugging his torso, which sprawled out around his navel, with a hunter’s green jacket that landed around mid-thigh, which was left open, lapels almost reaching his shoulders.

Miraculously, Hartley’s pants and boots fit perfectly with the outfit without giving him away.

Hartley was surprised to say the least.

And as he turned to James, he almost did a doubletake.

Gone was the Trickster, and in his place, a female with long, curly blond hair in a tan jacket with loose frills and no clasps or zippers or the likes, forcing it to be left open, revealing a long black shirt with streaks of silver. He had changed into black almost reflective thigh-hugging pants that were almost skinny jeans on him.

“Well?” James asked as he joined Hartley in looking in the mirror, placing a hand gently on Hartley’s shoulder blade.

Hartley had looked back to the mirror and turned his head and opened his mouth to reply in agreeance, eyes never leaving his reflection, eyes now never leaving his reflection, as he suddenly realized something wrong.

“But how many women do you know of have facial hair?” he asked, not totally surprised when James had probably thought of this, pulling out a scarf from somewhere and wrapping it around Hart’s neck and successfully hiding Hart’s goatie.

“Other than the bearded lady I grew up with?” James chuckled as he adjusted the scarf. “I think that does it~”

Five minutes later, the two walked out of the dressing room.

James grabbed a bag near the rooms and stuffed it with their capes and other unused items.

And with that, the two men ladies left the store, Hartley playing a little tune to distract the employees of their escape with the new items.

The two couldn’t wipe the victorious and _slightly_ smug smirks off their faces for at least the next few hours, as “Trixie and Piper” waltzed right under the Suicide Squad’s nose and made their spectacular escape.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so I meant to put Trixie in before, but when I remembered about her, I was already a few chapters past where she would have fit, and I said, screw it, I'm making the two cross dress in Countdown. Also, don't question the logic on how they couldn't take their clothes off, but could put their clothes /on/ with the handcuffs... Comic book logic.


	17. What If I...?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Song(s) Used:  
> [Colbie Caillat~Fallin’ For You](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LiPmzAo_vhM)  
> [Whitney Houston~How Will I Know](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m3-hY-hlhBg)  
> [The Fray~Heartbeat](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hp0_2fjPlbM)  
> [Anita Cochran~What If I Said](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=scd7GSpf3Oo)  
> [Carousel~If I Loved You](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iuHAh-2xGxw)  
> [Meghan Trainor~What If I](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8bTpob85juM)  
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I may be slow with updates (even more than before). I've been having computer issues and have to work around it, since my laptop isn't wanting to turn on at the moment. I'm still able to work on this story though, but just having to go around it in a new way.  
> Also, I've got pictures that I've been drawing for different chapters. Check them out on [my Tumblr account!](https://www.deepdarkyetdangerous.com)  
> 

**What If I…?**

**2012**

James sighed.

He was tired of running.

Not from the world, though that was definitely tiresome in its own right.

No. He was tired of running from himself. From running from Hartley.

He was tired of hiding the “true” him.

_…. Of hiding his feelings about his best friend…._

Who probably hated his guts by now, and rightfully so.

For over a year now, James had tried denying his feelings, brushing them off as nothing.

_They were just friendship! Just like he had thought before!_

But then their ~~non-existent~~ master plan took a turn for the worst, and _just kept getting worse_.

They’d been caught, handcuffed together, escaped, and on the run again, all in the matter of… Months? A month? Weeks? A week? Time seemed to be passing in a whole new way since they killed the Flash….

That’s right…. The Flash….

That’s why the were on the run from the whole world.

They killed The Flash….

Who was only a child….

No, don’t think about that. The two of them were innocent! They were undercover for the FBI and only trying to _prevent_ the murder from happening…

But that had gone wrong in almost every way possible.

And now, James was stuck, handcuffed to the man he’d gone and fallen in love with.

James might as well face it and stop the denial.

That all belonged in Egypt. The Nial.

James couldn’t even crack a smile at his little pun.

He was too distracted by thinking about how he’d panicked from all that had happened. And in that panic, he’d accidentally lashed out on the only person that he wanted to _keep with him_. The person he ended up only pushing _further_ and _further_ away.

Hartley.

Joke after harmful joke, James could see Hartley’s trust in him dwindle away, replaced by anger and hurt, and James _used_ that. He _knew_ Hartley was struggling, just not _how much_ he was struggling, or what he was struggling _with_. He didn’t know Hartley was struggling with his mental state, and even now, had no _clue_ of anything of that sort happening.

_But_ …

_But_ , there was a silver lining.

It was so clouded and was almost a darkened grey, but it was there.

With every harmful jab, James saw a spark of fight flicker behind Hartley’s eyes.

That fight was the only thing that seemed to be keeping Hartley _going_ and not _crashing_ and _burning_.

Or at least… Not _completely_...

And James couldn’t let that spark dwindle and die out, so he kept making more of the painful jabs, even though they only hurt the two of them. Hartley and his trust towards James, and James, as he watched that little sliver of Hartley’s trust slowly evaporated away.

But James had had it.

The two were currently on a train to God knows where, no, no God. God didn’t exist. Either that or he was one cruel son of a bitch for putting them, putting _Hartley_ , through all of this.

But, for the first time in forever…. It was peaceful….

The two were exhausted and took advantage of the moment for a peaceful silence to drape over them like a warm fuzzy blanket.

But James held back a wince as yet _another_ homophobic jab slipped past his lips of its own accord.

“You know what the worst part of being shackled to you for weeks is?”

Hartley rolled his eyes and replied with an annoyed, “The fact that it’s _me_?”

“Nope. People’s perceptions.” James answered. “It’s like I’m gay by _proximity_ , you know?”

“Here we go again…” Hartley mumbled, as he waved a dismissive hand, the one that was shackled to James, and suggested “You could always saw off your hand.”

James gave a curt laugh and said, “Wasn’t _my hand_ I was thinking about.”

There was a small and slightly uncomfortable silence that followed, and James, more afraid of Hartley’s answer than the silence, yet still unable to control his mouth apparently, asked, “What? The gay jokes…. They stopped being funny?”

Hartley didn’t even move, as he responded with a grim “Never _were_ here.”

James raked his brain for a way to break the silence that was quickly creeping up on them again, but fortunately, Hartley spoke up.

“You know, whatever’s crawled up your ass and changed you is _really_ getting on my nerves.”

“Oh, I assume you, _nothing’s_ crawled up _my_ ass.” James replied without thinking.

He held his breath and waited for Hartley’s response.

1… 2… 3.. He was smiling?

James quietly let out his breath he had accidentally held, as he realized that Hartley seemed to be hiding a _tiiiinnny_ little smile.

He smirked and continued.

“So, Hartley….” James began. “Why are so many politicians in the closet or gay?”

Hartley eyed him, not sure if he wanted to know the answer.

“Why?” Hartley sighed in defeat, knowing James wouldn’t stop smirking, borderline leering at this point, at him like that until he responded to the joke.

“Because they can only _mandate_.”

Hartley rolled his eyes and looked away, trying his best not to encourage the Italian.

“What do you call a gay ginger?” James asked, slightly more carefully than before.

Hartley gave a full out _glare_ , but with his low energy and skeletal appearance, it was more creepy or laughable than terrifying, as James could attest it was at full power.

Without even batting an eye at the glare, James flipped his hand and made a voice so stereotypically _gay_ it almost hurt.

“ _Flaming_ ~!”

Hartley almost couldn’t hide the small smile that threatened to spread across his face.

“What do you call an annoying gay guy?”

There was a pause, as Hartley tried ignoring him, but James was having none of it.

This was his chance.

His chance to finally fix things with Hartley.

To possibly tell him the complete and honest truth to his actions.

He just had to lighten to mood, and the jokes, oddly, were helping to do so.

“A _pain in the ass_.” James answered.

Hartley _barely_ kept his “straight” face (heehee), as he turned to James and said, “James, stop it. The homophobic jokes aren’t funny. Never have been, never will be.”

“Shame really, cause riding the rails like some kind of 1930’s tramp? I’m _pretty_ sure I could’ve come up with a knee-slapper about how you’ve turned me _hobo_ -sexual…” James joked with a small chuckle.

Hartley lost it and started chuckling.

James beamed, absolutely _loving_ each and every happy sound that the ginger man made.

God, he didn’t realize just _how much_ he missed those sounds, and how Hartley’s face just melted and smoothed out, his premature wrinkles vanishing, as his face broke into a smile. Not a smile that was just slapped on to stop people from questioning, but a _true_ smile. One that put his whole being into a relaxed state. Much more relaxed than he’d seen Hartley in _years_.

One that James had feared he would never see again…

Hartley chuckled and turned to James.

“God, why are you so annoying?”

“I know, right?” James smirked. “God is very annoying.”

Hartley blinked then rolled his eyes for a third time, a small smile gracing those beautiful lips again.

God, what James wouldn’t give, just to claim those lips with his own.

“Not God. _You_.” Hartley specified, lightly poking James in the chest, as if for further clarification. “ _You’re_ annoying.”

“Eh.” James said dismissively, before leering at Hartley. “I’m more of a _pain in the ass_.”

Hartley made a noise of agreement and James had to stop himself from making a wierd or disappointed look, as Hartley didn’t seem to be catching on at all.

The reason he kept telling these jokes. About gay politicians, gingers, and pain in the asses…

FBI, Hartley being a ginger, and James just being an ass.

James was hoping Hartley would catch on. Realize that James was totally gay for him.

But apparently it wasn’t working, and Hartley seemed completely oblivious to his attempts.

James sighed in defeat and looked down at his hands, unable to look up at Hartley as he spoke.

“You know, I’m not homophobic…. Sorry I’ve definitely seemed like one recently…” James said, every trace of his smile or happiness suddenly vanishing with the trees they passed by, leaving behind an oddly serious and _nervous_ James Jesse.

Hartley was visibly surprised to hear that, but quickly grew defensive.

“You know? Somehow, I can’t find it in me to believe you, _Trickster_.”

Trickster.

Not James.

That hurt…

“I know… I’m sorry… For everything… I.... I can’t really explain… But, with everything happening… I guess I just let it all boil up inside for too long. And I guess I accidentally just lashed it all out on _you_ , which, really, only made it even worse…” James said shamefully.

Hartley just sat there and listened.

“For how long?”

James looked back up to Hartley in mild surprise.

“A… A year? Back during the FBI.” James thought. “I’m really sorry… I _know_ I probably deserve for you to hate me. For what we used to have, our friendship, to not be as strong. Or possibly not even there anymore…. And I _totally_ deserve any hatred you have towards me, or anything-” James rambled on.

Hartley noticed the rambling and cut him off.

“Do you want it to be?”

James blinked.

“Do I… Do I want our friendship to be over? Hell no.” he replied.

Hartley huffed a single chuckle as he laid his head back against the large wooden box behind him.

“Well, first of all, between you and Deadshot, I’ve heard enough gay jokes to last me multiple lifetimes.” Hartley explained with a monotonous voice.

“Hey, I can’t control _Deadshit_ and his comments.” James huffed defiantly. “And I don’t see why he’s so insistent that we’re a _couple_!” and why it’s apparently obvious to Deadshot, but not to you…

Hartley made a noise of agreement.

“No clue.” Again, monotonous.

“It’s not like we’d ever end up like that.” James scoffed, while he tore himself up on the inside, wishing so hard that they _could_ , or _would_ ever end up like that.

Hartley looked over at him with an accusatory expression.

“What are you saying?” Hartley demanded.

James let out a loud bark of a laugh, forgetting his previous thoughts.

“You saying you’d ever even _consider_ going out with me? I don’t see why. I’m a fucking _manchild_ , who makes a living, or at least, _did_ , by scamming people!” James laughed and gestured to himself.

Hartley laughed and turned to look at James.

“Oh, and like I’m any better?” he asked. “I’m completely crazy and don’t give a fuck about myself.”

James turned and was going to respond, till he realized just _how close_ they were. His heart fluttered as he quickly hid a panicked look behind that of a laugh.

“I know Hartley. I know…” James smiled as he went to start leaning in to _finally_ kiss Hartley. To _finally_ tell him his love for him. To _finally_ open completely up to Hartley.

****  


Until he noticed a bright red dot appear on Hartley’s forehead.

James quickly realized what it was and tackled Hartley, accidentally triggering the zapcuffs and sending an electric current through the two of them, but just in the nick of time, as a gunshot rang through the air.


	18. Apology Accepted Trust Denied

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Song(s) Used:  
> [Colbie Caillat~Fallin’ For You](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LiPmzAo_vhM)  
> [Whitney Houston~How Will I Know](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m3-hY-hlhBg)  
> [The Fray~Heartbeat](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hp0_2fjPlbM)  
> [Anita Cochran~What If I Said](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=scd7GSpf3Oo)  
> [Carousel~If I Loved You](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iuHAh-2xGxw)  
> [Meghan Trainor~What If I](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8bTpob85juM)  
> [Queen~Show Must Go On](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t99KH0TR-J4)  
> [2Chellos ft. Sky Ferreira~Bang Bang](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EH3eYCpvw50)  
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I had've this chapter typed up for a while, but didn't want to post it when I finished, cause I had only posted the previous chapter the day before. BUT I had to post this today, since today marks the eighth aniversery of James Jesse's death...  
> Please review with song suggestions or any other comments you may have! :)

Apology Accepted, Trust Denied

2012

James was acting weird.

Well… Weirder than usual.

Hartley watched as James had began fidgeting nervously while the two were on the train.

Then came the gay jokes.

But… They were different than before.

Before they seemed like they were meant to be hurtful and were homophobic.

Now… Now they were just jokes about being gay. No homophobia or hurt behind the words.

And try as Hartley did, he couldn’t stop himself from smiling and chuckling at a few of the jokes, which only encouraged James to make more.

So when James suddenly went serious, it took Hartley off guard.

“You know, I’m not homophobic… Sorry I’ve definitely seemed like one recently…”

Hartley rolled his eyes and grew silent and cold again. This had to be another joke. No way could he just not be homophobic, just because he  said so.

… But the way James’ body language was  screaming that he was true to his word…

But he’s the  Trickster , who conned people for a living.

He’d have to be stupid to fall for something as obvious as that.

“You know? Somehow I can’t find it in me to believe you,  Trickster .”

Hartley regretted it as he noticed James wince at the use of his Rogue name, instead of his… sorta real name.

But Hartley couldn’t just back down because of that, and he couldn’t bring himself to use ‘James’. Not after ‘James’ had single handedly  destroyed the  trust Hartley had for him, leaving him  numb  without it.

James apologized shamefully about how he was only “accidentally lashing out” and was unable to look away from anything but his hands, which he was nervously wringing.

Hartley watched him carefully and realized something.   
James wasn’t the  only  one who was good at reading body language after all.

But… Hartley began to consider… That he wasn’t the only  nonlinear  one here.

Now it made sense.

The gay and homophobic jokes, the cold shoulder to the world and to Hartley, the distance, the lashing out…

James was possibly having an internal battle with himself about his sexuality.

But… Maybe Hartley was wrong, and it was something completely different that was going on.

‘Don’t get your hopes up, Hartley’ his mind told him, leaving him confused.

Why would he care if James was having that battle with himself or not. It didn’t affect him.

“For how long?” Hartley asked suddenly, James looking up at him in mild surprise.

“A… A year? Back during the FBI.”

That made sense. It was probably around the time James started acting cold and distant towards him.

But then James began rambling, claiming that Hartley had every right to hate him, which he… didn’t?

Why  didn’t  Hartley hate him? After all James did, why  couldn’t  he find it in him to hate, or even  dislike James?   
Why did it hurt so  much , yet he  couldn’t  give up,  couldn’t  give in.

Could let go. Detach from James and his hurtful words.

"Do you want it to be?" Hartley asked, choosing to just focus on the question of what was left of their friendship, cutting james and his rambling off and distracting him from his thoughts.

"Do I.... Do I want our friendship to be over? Hell no."

Hartley was relieved at hearing that answer.

He didn't want to cut ties with James, and hoped that he felt the same.

But first things first. He couldn't keep going with the things the way they were.

"Well, first of all, between you and Deadshot, I've heard enough gay jokes to last me  multiple  lifetimes." he said, leaning back into the box behind him.

The two bickered, and for once, Hartley felt.... at  peace ...

It was as if things were back to normal. Things hadn't turned to shit, and it was like things were in the "good ol' days" and it was still just a  game  to everyone involved.

But.... What was " normal "? Even back then, the Rogues weren't the same as other villains. They just lagged behind with the violence and seriousness, they're "morality" getting in the way. It was almost  predictable  that the Rogues would turn into the  darker  and more  violent  group they turned into in the more recent years.

But then James spoke up.

"It's not like we'd ever end up like that."

Hartley didn't know why, but that stung more than it should have.

He turned to james with an accusatory look.

"What are you saying?"

Hartley eyes james when he laughed. What was so funny about this?

But....

Why was Hartley reacting like this?

James laughed and explained how him being a manchild and a conman apparently many Hartley shouldn't find him attractive or dateable...

But that was what made James Jesse... James Jesse.

Hartley couldn't imagine James being anything else.

Without that blinding smile, glowing golden halo of hair, brilliant blue eyes Hartley could get lost in...

Hartley shook his head.

Where did that come from?

But Hartley just laughed as he responded.

"Oh, and like I'm any better? I'm completely crazy and don't give a fuck about myself."

James turned, and for a split second, a brief look of... horror? panic? crossed his face before being squashed by a blinding smile.

Hartley was confused as he noticed James' heartbeat, which was suddenly faster than normal, and James' pupils mysteriously dilated, leaving only a miniscule ring of blue in his eyes.

"I know Hartley, I know..." James said, but something was... off about his voice...

It seemed… warmer… more caring than anyone had talked to Hartley in a  long time…

But suddenly, James tackled him, and electricity coursed through their bodies.

But accidentally activating the zapcuffs was easily forgiven, as the sound of a gunshot rang out and distracted Hartley from being mad at the other, and Hartley realized the gaping hole in the box, right where he head had been seconds prior.

James had just saved his life.

James quickly apologized, but Hartley just waved it off, focusing instead on Deadshot.

 

He’d found them again.

 

A fight quickly broke out between the two sides. James and Hartley, Trickster and Piper, against Deadshot.

And just like that, it was just like the good ol’ days.

  
  


… Except this time, they weren’t dodging  figurative  bullets, but  literal ones.

Deadshot seemed to be shooting to kill, even though Hartley could hear someone, Deadshot’s boss maybe?, over a com-link or something.

But, like  muscle memory, Hartley and James were back in the groove, back in their stripes and polka dots, bright colors and absurd ideas. They were bread and butter, both in perfect harmony. Perfect sync.

The two didn’t say more than five words between each other about a plan, yet they seemed to be on the same wavelength, as they grabbed some of the batteries of some vehicular device that were in some of the crates and boxes in the train, and in a single, fluid motion, they both threw a battery into Deadshot’s face, the battery acid spewing onto his mask and quickly beginning to seep into the fabric.

Deadshot quickly grabbed at his mask to take it off, and in that moment of weakness, the two wanted criminals rushed at him, using their once hindrance to push their assailant off the train, surprised when that somehow didn’t activate the cuffs.

James turned to smile estatically at Hartley and it looked like he was reaching out to him.

Maybe a hug?

A high-five?

A…

  
  


Hartley would never find out, as suddenly, a look of horror and pain flashed across his face, and the next thing Hartley knew, they were being dragged out of the train, barely managing to grab the side of the door before falling out.

Hartley  screamed  in pain along with his shoulders at the sudden change of angle, tension, and the electricity that once again, coursed between the two, but still held on for dear life.

He managed to look over, just as Deadshot smashed James’ face into the ground, hitting the rocks, dirt, and other dipris alongside the railroad tracks.

“ James! Dear god! ” Hartley wailed.

Hartley tried pulling James away from Deadshot, and somehow, the two managed to shake him off.

But Deadshot wasn’t done yet.

He aimed his wrist guns at Hartley and yelled out, “My condolences… Ha hah ha haaa! And here’s my parting shot for  you , Pied  Pooftah! ”

 

Bang!

 

Bang!

 

Bang!

 

Bang!

  
  


Gunshots, Hartley’s mind supplied sluggishly, more focused on James’ voice, ringing out clear as a chiming bell.

  
  


“ No! Not him… Not not! ”

  
  
  


By the time Hartley’s brain had processed what just happened, Deadshot was nothing but an insignificant  speck in the distance.

James was limp, still hanging from the train and the zapcuffs, making it harder for Hartley to pull them both back on board.

After struggling to get them both back onto the train, Hartley laid next to James, catching his breath.

He sat up and looked over to James.

“Ah… Ah… Jeez”  huff  “Look what he did”  huff  “to your  face! ”  huff  “Still… scars  do add character, they say, eh?”  huff  “heheh”  huff  “Now let’s get up and find the”  huff “ genius who invented these cuffs… Do the…”  huff “same to… to... “

Hartley froze as he turned James over.

Oh god…

So much blood. It was  everywhere .

And James was so quiet. Not even panting like Hartley, who suddenly found it hard to breath.

And Hartley knew why.

  
  


James shielded him from Deadshot’s last attack.

  
  
  


From the bullets... 

  
  
  
  
  
  


That embedded themselves in James forehead and chest...


	19. Finding Help For Daddy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Song(s) Used:  
> PLEASE GIVE ME SUGGESTIONS FOR SONGS YOU THINK FIT EITHER NOW, OR THINK MAY FIT FOR THE FUTURE OR THIS SHIP

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I've been slow with this story. This is chapter 19, and I'm actually half way through 26, but I don't have anything typed between now and there.  
> I've been severely stressed out lately, and so I've lost motivation to type at some points, I've had writer's block with the current chapter cause it went a different way than planned, I've had technical difficulties (I was hacked and my computer was out of commission, but it's up and working again), and life has handed me a few baskets worth of lemons, so please bear with me. I'm trying as much as I can.

** Finding Help for Daddy **

** 2015 **

The world seemed to turn to complete panic.

Humans were either fighting or hiding from the scary human-like things that had empty, hollow eyes, and rotting flesh that hung from their bodies.

The humans and invaders left nothing but debris and wreckage. Small fires were the main source of light in the once busy streets, the street lights either knocked over, broken, or turned off, as the city seemed to have been shut off.

But daddy was sick. Daddy needed help.

So Jerrie kept searching.

But after finding nothing useful for an hour or so, she returned home.

She ran back to the old Rathaway manor, carefully but quickly navigating through the areas of the building that had fallen in disrepair because of weather or other events.

After going down a few halls and dodging the debris and pushes that were left from the last rainfall, which had come in through the holes in the ceiling, she finally reached a large open room, once used maybe as a living room or ballroom, but currently unrecognizable, and she felt herself grow saddened.

Daddy was still just sitting there in the middle of the room, empty except for the torn and tattered furniture that was pushed up against the walls and debris from the caved in ceiling. He had a blank, empty look on his face, as he stared in the direction of a wall, which shown reflective streaks from the water and the damage it caused as it ran down the cracked paint.

Daddy looked sick, but Jerrie hadn’t seen Daddy as anything other than this in a _long_ time.

Jerrie didn’t know much about how people’s faces were supposed to look, but she wasn’t stupid or ignorant. She knew this _wasn’t_ how people should look.

She knew the sunken in cheeks, which made his eyes seem darker and pop out unnaturally, and his cheekbones to stick out harshly, these _weren’t_ how people’s faces were supposed to look.

Jerrie also knew that, when she first saw Daddy, his hair had been bright red and thick, unlike the now thin, oily hair that was somewhere between brunette and going grey.

Daddy wasn’t washing his hair, so it was filthy and darkened.

A blond rat sat on Daddy’s shoulder and had looked over when Jerrie had entered the room.

“What the hell took you so long?!” the rat demanded, standing on his hind legs before jumping down and running over to Jerrie to fuss over her and make sure she was unharmed from her exploration.

“I know, I know. Sorry it took longer than expected.” Jerrie explained as she shook some drops of water out of her brown coat.

The blond rat stepped back a few steps so as not to get wet as well.

“What’s out there? Did you find anything? Any help for Dad?” he looked back to the ginger sitting on the damp floor.

“Nothing. I looked everywhere I could.” Jerrie started, looking back to Daddy as well. “Something big is happening though. The humans are scared and being attacked by things that look like rotting humans.” She sighed. She was getting scared that Daddy wouldn’t get help, and would just continue to get worse and worse.

“Do you think Daddy will get help, Gio?”

The tan rat thought and slowly turned back to his close friend.

“I hope so.” he said, as the two scurried back over to their daddy.

They couldn’t do much, but they’d do anything to help their daddy, even if it meant giving up their lives for his.

 


	20. The Show Must Go On

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Song(s) Used:  
> [Queen~I'm Going Slightly Mad](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Od6hY_50Dh0)  
> 

The Show Must Go On

2015

Hartley was numb.

All of the things he did passed by him.

His years as a villain.

His years as a hero no one trusted.

His year or so as a FBI agent.

Being framed for his parents’ murder.  
Remembering killing them, even though he didn’t.

Being blamed for Bart’s death.

Being on the run.

… Being handcuffed to James.

If Hartley could feel right now, he’d be crying his eyes out, asking why James had to die.

...Why couldn’t it have been him instead…

He already _felt_ dead…

It had taken a while, but eventually Hartley realized why it hurt so much.

It wasn’t just because James was his best friend and had stabbed him in the back, then his heart, then jumped in front of the bullets to shield Hartley…

… He had fallen in love with the man…

But he was drawn out of his self pity by something small and furry nuzzling his hand in his lap.

“Jerrie?” He asked as he carefully picked up the distressed brown rat.

“Oh, I’m sorry… I did it again, didn’t I?” he apologized and pet the rat gently.

Jerrie was acting oddly.

Usually, she got worried about him when he had a breakdown like that and just sat there, staring out into space.

But this was different.

She was bruxing, but it wasn’t in the normal, happy way, and she was twitching her tail in either agitation or… fear…

She was looking around frequently, and…

...Where were the other rats?

There was usually at _least_ a handful or two of them there around him at all times.

But right now..

Jerrie was the only one here…

Something was going on. Hartley had to go n-

“Hello Hartley. It’s nice to see you again~” an all too familiar voice rang out, almost right behind him.

No. No, James is dead. He can’t be behind him. Couldn’t be here.

But… maybe he’d been resurrected? That seemed to happen more often than not.

But… No. It was just his imagination.. James is dead, and there’s no changing that now.

So Hartley turned, half to prove himself wrong, and half to prove himself right, and stared in disbelief.

There, about fifteen feet behind him, stood James Jesse.

But…

There was no color to him. His once flashy orange and blues now nothing but greys and blacks. His skin was a ghastly grey and hung from his skeletal frame and dimpled inwards in the middle of his forehead, and dried, grey blood ran down from that area.

 

The area the bullet hit.

 

His costume now had a new triangle design on the lower torso, and more of the disturbing grey dried blood had stained his shirt and left it crusted over in the center of his torso, directly where the other bullet had hit.

‘James’ tisked and looked Hartley over.

“Fear… Hope…. Compassion……. _Love_.” ‘James’ listed. “Always _said_ you were a _bleedin’ Hart_.”

Hartley shivered from the smirk ‘James’ sent him, chilling him to the core.

“No… You died…” Hartley backed away slowly, eyes never leaving ‘James’. He could feel himself shaking like a leaf.

‘James’ leered and slowly walked towards him, air walker shoes whirling and wheezing sluggishly to support him.

Weird…

James hadn’t died with his air walkers…

But Hartley had bigger things to worry about, as ‘James’ began talking.

“So much fear.” ‘James’ said. “I can’t wait to make it all go _silent_.”

Hartley was almost frozen in fear, until a smooth voice rang out in Hartley’s ears.

“ _Run, Hartley, RUN… Get away… Stay safe… STAY ALIVE!_ ”

Suddenly, Hartley found himself running. Running far away from ‘James’.

He didn’t question the voice that got him to move.

He didn’t question how eerily similar it was to James’ voice, and not the raspy one that came from ‘James’.

… Didn’t question the raw emotion, the raw _pain_ in the voice.

 

Just ran.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is the story that will never end. It's like the song that never ends, but slightly different.  
> I have at least two other spin-offs/deleted scenes stories, the spin-off being a story called Guardian Angel, which will break off SoP, or Story of Pipster, starting... Ch 28 or 29, but I don't want to reveal much about it now, as it is about something that hasn't happened yet.  
> I'll also have a deleted scenes kind of story, with ideas that I forgot about until it was too late to put them in, or other random things.  
> Also, check out my story Angel, which I will be posting the first chapter tonight. It's about Axel, James, metahumans, the Rogues, and a mix of Pre and New 52.


	21. No Place In Hell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Song(s) Used:  
> [Rachel Platton~Fight Song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xo1VInw-SKc)  
> [Devil Went Down to Georgia](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K6RUg-NkjY4)  
> [Kongos~Come With Me Now](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gz2GVlQkn4Q)  
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oops, sorry for not touching this story in two months >.

No Place In Hell

2015

This was the last straw.

Neron had forced James to watch Hartley 24/7, watching him go through his living hell.

Hartley was plagued by memories and his rapidly declining mental state.

And then came the _Black Lanterns_.

They were like every horror zombie movie combined and put on scary steroids.

James began to see in his zombie’s point of view, and _panicked_ , as he realized where it was headed.

‘No no no no… Turn around, go back to the Rogues… Stay away from there!’

A metallic voice rang out around James raspily, “You have no control any more. He must be put out for good. The world must go black.”

Colors.

That’s how these things see. They see emotions as colors, but nothing else.

Red rage, orange avarice, yellow fear, green will, blue hope, indigo compassion, violet love…. black death, and white life.

Every living and breathing being, human, alien, etc., are white, but have other colors dependent on their emotions.

And right now? Hartley was white.

That meant the black lanterns couldn’t exactly see him, which was good.

But it also meant he wasn’t feeling anything.

Which was bad.

So James was glad Hartley was hiding from the black lanterns, and the only reason James’ black lantern seemed to know where to go may be from going exactly where James didn’t want it to go.

But at the same time, it hurt, seeing Hartley sitting perfectly still, not feeling a thing.

But suddenly, Hartley lit up like a Christmas tree.

No no _no_!

James’ black lantern moved faster, as it locked onto Hartley’s colors, quickly gaining on the lights Hartley shown.

Yellow… Blue… Indigo……. Violet…

It was only because of his damn connection to this damn zombie, that James knew what each of these colors meant.

Yellow, fear.

Blue, hope.

Good. Hartley should feel those. It meant he hadn’t given up.

But then...

Indigo... compassion.

And…. violet…. love?

They were small and barely visible, but….

Why could James see him so clearly?

 _Shit_.

He could see him so clearly because _he was only feet away from Hartley_.

“Hello Hartley. It’s nice to see you again.” The raspy voice said again.

Hartley froze, and his skeletal frame lit up with yellow, almost drowning out the other colors, but as he slowly turned, the colors began fighting each other for dominance.

Hartley was shaking like a leaf as James’ zombie looked him over with a tsk and listed out the emotions Hartley displayed.

“Always _said_ you were a _bleedin’ Hart_.” it said.

Hartley shivered and backed away.

“No… You died….” he managed in a weak voice.

Then, the zombie spoke up again, and James could feel it getting ready to pounce as it talked.

“So much fear. I can’t wait to make it all go _silent_.”

James knew it had chosen its words carefully.

The Black Lanterns didn’t want the world to go silent. They wanted it pitch black, as they saw emotions as colors.

But Hartley hated the silence.

And Hartley was frozen in that blindingly yellow fear, and if he didn’t move soon, he’d die.

James _screamed_ to Hartley, unsure if he’d be heard or not, but he’d still put up a damn fight either way.

“ _Run, Hartley, RUN… Get away… Stay safe… STAY ALIVE!_ ”

It seemed to have worked, as Hartley turned and ran, holding a rat close to his chest.

Whether it was Hartley, James, or an errant breeze that knocked a gadget off a nearby table and caused it to release a hypnotic frequency that caused ‘James’ to become frozen in place, no one would ever know.

James relaxed as he realized Hartley was safe for the moment.

But the moment of celebration was cut short, as, in a swirl of green flames, Neron appeared in front of James.

“You weren’t supposed to be able to do that.” Neron snarled, bent down and in James’ face.

“Well, I _did_.” James snarled back.

Neron looked _pissed_ and was about to say something, before standing up and looking down triumphantly at James, looking _very_ smug, as if he had a trump card, something big that he _knew_ would win.

But, James had nothing left to lose.

Did he?

Neron sighed without any hint of sympathy and looked over at the mirage of Hartley running throughout the night.

“Well, I _could_ take my anger out on _you_.” Neron drawled. “ _Or_ , I _could_ take it out on poor little Piper~”  
Neron’s pale lips turned upwards in a sick and twisted smile, one which made James’ blood curdle.

James growled and snarled, vision going blood red around him, as he pulled against his shackles once again, fueled by the weight of all the words that went unspoken, all the foolish actions he regretted, all the misery he’d caused, which rattled around in his skull like wrecking balls, not noticing how this time, they gave out with a loud snap and crack, as he lunged at Neron.


	22. I'm Going Slightly Insane

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Song(s) Used:  
> [Christina Aguilera~Anywhere But Here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ewmRSKDUQ8g)  
> [Terry Jacks~Seasons In The Sun](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-tPcc1ftj8E)  
> [Skylar Grey~Ticking Time Bomb](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-VgNASGNB_k)  
> [Skylar Grey~Beautiful Nightmare](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s_J5G_gYJRE)  
> 

I’m Going Slightly Insane

2015

Wally ran through Central and Keystone, making sure everyone was ok, as the Black Lanterns retreated.

He expected to see shaken citizens, dead bodies either abandoned or being mourned.

What he wasn’t expecting was to (almost literally) run into Hartley, as he turned a corner.

But Hartley didn’t stop.

Wally ran to catch up to him and stumbled when he saw the horrified yet empty look on his face.

Somehow, Wally managed to stop Hartley, but he was too far gone to answer his questions, and kept looking around wildly like a trapped animal, muttering nonsense under his breath.

This was going nowhere, so Wally called the other speedsters to tell them he was going home to get Hartley help, ignoring the protests he could hear coming from Uncle Barry, as he scooped Hartley up and sped home.

“Linda!” he called out, as he set Hartley down on the couch gently.

Linda ran in, startled and worried about the sudden, worried tone she heard in heer husband’s voice.

She froze as she noticed the figure shivering and twitching on the couch.

“I ran into him while patrolling.” Wally explained before slowly looking up to Linda with big panicked eyes.

He knew Hartley had a past with mental instability, but the last time he’d seen Hartley, he’d still been handcuffed to James, and Wally had been a _dick_ and complete _tool_ and not believed their cries of innocence and begs for help.

And oh god, where was James then?

Wally’s stomach churned as he thought.

‘Way to go Wallace. A++ friendship you got there.’

“He needs help.” was the only thing Wally could get out though, as Linda walked over to check on Hartley.

Hartley seemed to calm down a fraction at Linda’s gentle touch to his cheek then forehead, checking for any temperature.

Wally was going to ask if Linda knew how to help, but before he could get a word out, he heard Uncle Barry run into the house.

Wally turned to him and suddenly, he felt like a 10-year-old again and like he’d accidentally knocked something over in Uncle Barry’s lab, or done something wrong, and had to resist the urge to hang his head in shame.

“Uncle Barry-”

“What in the _world_ are you doing?!” Barry scolded, arms crossed over his chest, interrupting Wally.

Wally was surprised to say the least.

“W-What do you mean?” Wally asked, generally confused.

Barry glared and gestured to Hartley, who still lay on the couch, shivering from a mixture of cold, shock, and malnutrition, his face scrunched up in agony.

“What are you doing, helping _him?!_ ” Barry demanded.

Wally froze.

“‘Helping… him’?” he repeated slowly, tilting his head in disbelief that he’d heard his Uncle Barry, his _idol_ , correctly.

“Yes! Him!” Barry exclaimed angrily. “Why are you helping the Pied Piper?! He’s a villain, and he’s cruel and ruthless, and he deserves to be in jail, not your _couch_.”

Wally was dumbfounded.

Fortunately, Linda spoke up.

“He _deserves_ to be in a hospital.” she said, as she stood up and _glared_ at Barry. “But seeings how most are either not in working condition or overcrowded, _here_ is his best bet.”

Thankfully, Barry seemed to back down.

“But he’s still a villain!” Barry argued.

Linda was livid.

“No, he isn’t. And he hasn’t been for _years_.” Linda defended. “He _reformed_ over a _decade_ ago!”

Barry still wasn’t going to give in though.

“Once a villain, _always_ a villain.” he spat.

Linda gasped as, in a blur, Barry was suddenly across the room, on the floor against the wall, clutching his cheek and jaw, which were turning a bright red. Wally stood where Barry had been, his fists shaking in anger by his sides, knuckles white from tension.

Barry was in shock, trying to wrap his mind around the situation, where _Wally had just punched him_.

“People. Change.” Wally ground out between clenched teeth. “Hartley reformed. He’s a _good guy_. He’s helped me with heroics for the last _decade_. And all I’ve done is be a _dick_ to him. He doesn’t _deserve_ any of this. To be struggling like this, or you _accusing_ him like that. What he _deserves_ is so much more.” Wally scoffed. “And to _think_ that I always thought you were the _best hero ever_. Now… Now I see the truth. You’re just an ignorant bigot who can’t even _fathom_ that sometimes, people make mistakes, _Sometimes_ , people change.”

Barry sat, leaning against the wall where he had fallen from both the punch and surprise.  
But Wally wasn’t done yet.

“And you know the worst part?” There was a small pause, as if Wally was awaiting an answer. “The worst part is, that I used to look up to you _so much_. Before I knew you were The Flash, I didn’t wish that my Uncle Barry was The Flash, I wished that The Flash was my Uncle Barry. _That’s_ how much I looked up to my Uncle Barry.”

“W-Wally, I-” Barry tried to apologize before Wally interrupted him, bringing his arm up to point to the door.

“Out.”

Barry was taken aback.

“W-What? Wally!” he tried again.

“Get. Out. Now.” Wally growled. “Get the fuck out of my house. Now.”

Barry knew there was no chance to win, so he quickly exitted, running back home to Iris.

At least she hadn’t changed or threatened to kick him out for arguing about having a _villain_ on their couch.

…

Would she?

But back in the West household, Wally sighed and collapsed into a nearby chair, almost missing.

Linda ran over to him and started to fuss over him.

Wally waved her off and said, “I’m fine. Just… Tired, and at my wit’s end… Maybe I overreacted? I shouldn’t have yelled at Uncle Barry like that…” he fretted, distraught that he had just alienated his recently resurrected childhood hero.

Linda scoffed. “Nonsense. I’m pretty sure he needed knocked down a few dozen pegs. No hero should act like that and refuse to help someone in need, just because they’ve done bad things in the past.” she explained, running a gentle hand through her husband’s tangled ginger hair.

Wally thought that through with a sigh as he leaned into her touch, slowly agreeing before suddenly being pounced on by two small children.

“Daddy! You’re back!” Irey exclaimed happily into his shoulder. “Does that mean that the crisis is over? Is it safe again? What’s going on?” she asked quickly.

“Yeah, and why were you yelling at Great-Uncle Barry?” Jai said a little more sheepishly than his twin sister.

Wally sighed before answering, rolling his kids over, one on each side and into a big bear hug, happy to see them safe and ok again, getting a giggle from Irey, who crawled into her dad’s lap, and an eye roll from Jai. “Hey you two. Yes, it seems to be over for now at least. Hopefully it’s completely done and we’re probably safe for a while. And Jai, it’s… complicated. Uncle Barry and I had a disagreement on something.”

Wally was relieved when they didn’t question further, focusing on other matter instead, as Irey hugged her daddy tightly and Jai, not being as open with his feelings as his sister, instead stood, pressed up against his dad.

Wally was too distracted in relaxing with his children in his arms, that he hadn’t realized his son staring at his godfather, who was thankfully no longer twitching on the couch, who had thankfully calmed down and looked like he was in a restful slumber.

At least, Wally didn’t notice till Jai asked about it.

“Is Uncle Hartley gonna be ok?” he asked, unnerved by the skeletal frame that looked ghostly and beaten. “He doesn’t _look_ ok…”

“I hope so.” Wally sighed and looked over his tattered and broken (ex?) bestfriend.

And he did get better.

Wally and Linda (but mostly Linda) _refused_ to let Hartley leave their house without one or both of them over the next few months.

They fretted over him and made sure he ate, complaining that they shouldn’t be able to see every single bone in Hartley’s body, and that he shouldn’t starve himself like he’d almost done on accident. They made sure Hartley was kept warm, fed, clothed, and not alone.

And it was helping, inch by inch.

When Hartley had first started staying at the West’s, he had been spending most of the day sitting still, staring into nothingness with a blank stare, having a breakdown, as Wally and Linda later realized.

But now, over half a year later, Wally smiled happily as he intertwined his fingers with Linda’s and swung their hands between them as they walked down the park pathway, the twins and Hartley walking ahead of them.

Hartley had been getting better, his almost constant state of breaking down now only happening once every week or two, leaving him more time actually aware, which he happily spent it catching up with Jai and Irey, and slowly patching up the gaping tears in his friendship with the twins’ father.

So Wally inhaled a large breath of the crisp Autumn air and took in all the bright colors the leaves had started turning around them.

But he quickly looked back as he heard the sounds of Irey falling over and complaining about hurting her elbow.

Wally watched, as Hartley knelt down to her level and gently removed her hand from her elbow before placing a feather light kiss to the reddened area with a playful smile.

“Better?” he asked as he helped her back up with a caring chuckle.

Irey giggled happily, forgetting all about the skinned elbow as she nodded. “All better!”

Wally and Linda smiled and continued to watch silently.

Hartley was so kind and gentle with the twins, and one could _easily_ see the loving bond the three had formed.

That bond was unbreakable and left even Barry, who _still_ couldn’t fathom the idea that Hartley was no longer a supervillain, without rhyme or reason to argue with the (physically) eight year olds playing with their godfather.

Life was _great_ in the Wests’ household.

…. Until Hartley couldn’t take it anymore, and when left alone in the house one day, everyone else at work or school…

... _He vanished_ …

The only thing he left behind was a single note, saying he’d “gone for a walk”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, this has happened before, where I write a dramatic scene, where someone gets punched or something, and I feel like it's rushed or didn't have enough reason yet for their actions, but I've been told that I was good, so I hope you enjoyed my hatred of Barry. Seriously. Why the hell was he brought back, other than Geoff Johns/etc. being nostalgic assholes. Barry comes back and suddenly characters like Wally and Linda vanish. Barry, Iris, and Captain Cold got the spotlight, and NO ONE ELSE. Barry is nice... Back in the Silver Age. Back when he could strip check the Rogues without consequences (which he did at LEAST once) and beat them up for literally no reason. He's a bigoted asshole who I REALLY wish they hadn't brought back....  
> Sorry for that rant, but it's all true. Anyways, I've been typing up a lot and trying to catch up. I'm writing ch... 28 I think? So yeah. Ch 29 or so it gets happy~! 83 I can't wait to stop with the sadness T^T (for now)  
> After it gets happy, expect lots of fluff overload. Like, cute babies level overload. ;) (Totally wasn't a hint of what's to come for anyone who read all of this rant here ;D ;D)


	23. I'm Sorry...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song(s) Used:  
> [Christina Aguilera~Anywhere But Here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ewmRSKDUQ8g)  
> [Christina Perri~Sad Song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HO4e4nCYBEo)  
> [Green Day~21 Guns](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r00ikilDxW4)  
> [Green Day~21 Guns (Musical Cast Version)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q1RKr4pWOqs)  
> [Imogen Heap~Clear the Area](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TmgoThUhKXY)  
> [John Legend~My Imagination](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xjJ3m6ftmCI&index=4&list=RDS_1-QTwBW28)  
> [Joy Dreamers~Nonsense Speaker](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aL91YOChFAo)  
> [Matthew Morrison~We Own The Night](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S_1-QTwBW28&index=1&list=RDS_1-QTwBW28)  
> [Paloma Faith~Circus Of Your Mind](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s_J5G_gYJRE)  
> [Skylar Grey~Haunted](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ur-8G1sLcmI)  
> [Skylar Grey~Beautiful Nightmare](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s_J5G_gYJRE)  
> [Skylar Grey~Ticking Time Bomb](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-VgNASGNB_k)  
> [Terry Jacks~Seasons In The Sun](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-tPcc1ftj8E)  
> 

**I’m Sorry...**

**2015**

Hartley couldn’t take it any longer. The hopeful stares, as everyone constantly watched him, thinking he was getting better, judging his progress or this or that.

Yes, he _looked_ like he was getting better, spending less time frozen, staring into the nothingness, more time interacting with the Wests and Allens, when Iris and Barry came over.

True, he’d truly enjoyed the time he spent playing with his godchildren.

They were still so young and energetic, and being a speedster for Irey, and being physically eight for both, while only chronologically somewhere around three years of age.

But even when playing with the twins, Hartley found himself having to put on a play. A performance that hid the ache he still felt. The darkness that lingered just underneath his skin.

They didn’t need to see that, see him wasting away.

But then he’d overheard Iris and Wally talking the other night before she and Barry left for the nights.

… Iris wanted Wally and Linda to send Hartley back to Breedmore…

Hartley was thankful when Wally argued that would actually be counterproductive, much to Iris’ confusion.

“And how exactly would that be?” Hartley remembered her questioning.

Without missing a heartbeat, Wally responded, “Because he needs his friends and family. Last time he was left alone, he ended up breaking down. You saw how he was when we found him. If we send him away, he could go back to that. He seems to be doing better here, and I don’t want to make him feel alienated again.”

But Hartley knew Wally could never say no to his aunt for long, so Hartley began a mental countdown till the day till he agreed and sent Hartley away to the loony bin.

But it quickly became too much.

So when Wally and Linda both went off to work (Piper only having to convince them he’d be ok by himself for the afternoon, lunch made for him by Linda and left in the fridge), and the kids at school, Hartley quickly scribbled a note, saying that he’d gone on a walk for fresh air.

Hartley hurt all over, yet struggled to feel anything at all.

Almost without thinking, Hartley walked to the bathroom and opened the medicine cabinet, grabbing a bottle of sleeping pills, but he stopped, pausing in his motion, as he saw himself in his reflection.

He looked like a ghost, looking as dead as he felt. His cheeks were sunken in, causing his eyes to bulge a bit and the shadows around his eyes to be drastically darkened.

He stared at himself, his gut in knots at what he had become, until his fist was bleeding, shards of glass in his knuckles.

Pocketing the bottle of pills, he left the house and walked, not even noticing the pain in his hand and the glass and blood that were smeared and dripping from his hand.

He didn’t have anywhere in mind, but after some time, he realized he’d walked ‘home’.

All the way on the opposite side of the city from the Wests’, Hartley stood, staring up at the looming Rathaway Manor.

Hartley quickly made his way inside, the cold, near-winter air managing its way through Hartley’s coat and forcing a shiver down his body.

He navigated through the weather beaten debris in the halls, and into the ballroom he had used last time he was here…

Last time…

Last time, James’ _zombie_ tried attacking him.

Hartley pulled out James’ Trickster puppet from his pocket, where he had kept it for safekeeping.

The puppet, as stupid as it seemed, had been one of the only things that seemed to keep Hartley grounded. It was the last thing of James’ that he had, and he had kept it on him constantly. The seams were torn and worn, and Iris had offered to stitch it up again and fix it, but Hartley refused. It was the last part of James he had, and he felt that ‘fixing’ it would be like losing that bit of him.

Hartley drew a shaky breath as he walked into the middle of the room, holding the puppet close to his chest.

He sat down and, with a heavily shaking hand, pulled out the bottle of pills.

He wasn’t sure if he was relieved, or even more distraught, that there were so many pills in the unopened bottle.

For a few minutes, Hartley could do nothing but sit there and stare at the bottle in his hand, suddenly having second thoughts on his plan, and hoping Wally maybe came home for lunch and noticed he was gone, and would find and stop him.

But… Wally still had another hour or so till his lunch, and if he _did_ come home, that note would convince him he was fine and he’d be home soon.

So it was now…

 

Or never.

Now and have the blissful rest he longed for so much…

… Or forever be in this eternal pain he felt every day…

So Hartley will his hands to stop shaking. Willed a thumb to break the seal…

… Willed up enough saliva to down the pills…

… As he threw the now empty bottle away and looked away, not able to look at the discarded container.

Eventually, the pills started to kick in,  and Hartley’s eyelids began to droop and he felt feather light and as if he were floating through the sky.

Hartley smiled happily.

It finally stopped hurting.

He laid his head down on the floor and began drifting off into the blissful sleep he desired, curling up puppet hugged against his chest, and a faint echo of James’ voice yelling out his name...


	24. The Deal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Song(s) Used:  
> [Whitney Houston~Run To You](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LhjKrZWl_ko)  
> [Panic! At The Disco~Hallelujah](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NqRm7t-DYmk)  
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so for at least a little bit, I'll talk about Devils and/or Demons. I basically made my own definitions up, so to not confuse anyone:  
> Devil: Supreme evil spirits/beings. Most powerful beings in the Underworld(s). Devils get their power/hold of their realm through the deals they make. If they don't continue to make deals, they lose their power and hold of their realm of the Underworld. The more deals they make, the more powerful they become.  
> Demon: A lower ranking being than Devil. They do not gain power from deals and have no real reason to honor or keep deals they may make. Demons are lower class than Devils and are not able to be as powerful as Devils, but the more powerful of Demons are usually seen as equals to lower powered Devils. In some cases, demon and devil are used interchangeably.
> 
> James becomes a Devil, at least for now, I don't know if he'll keep this or what, but in the spin-off I have planned to do at some point, he definitely keeps the Devil stuff.  
> Also, I changed a bit at the end of No Place in Hell, so if you read that chapter before me posting this chapter, I recommend you go read the last paragraph or so again. :)  
> Also, please recommend any songs or (spoilers) anything you'd like to see happy couple Pipster do as a couple or anything like that~ 83

** The Deal **

** 2015 **

James stood in the cave he’d once been imprisoned in, watching over Hartley with crossed arms and a pained, yet bittersweet look on his face.

He’d stood up against Neron, and in the process, escaped and gotten away. He’d found out Neron _wasn’t_ actually The Devil himself, but one of many “devils”.

James had found some of these  other devils and found that he wasn’t the only one with a hatred or grudge against the David Bowie wannabe, and James quickly made some unlikely allies in your everyday neighborly devils.

And apparently, word travels pretty fast in the underworld about someone challenging a larger rival of the other demons and devils, meaning James didn’t have to fight this fight alone.

In the end, James took Neron’s spot, his throne, ruling this realm of the Underworld.

Neron was under _his_ rule now, and slowly shrinking away, as his source of power, his deals and magic, were sapped away and given to James.

James wished he could have ended this another way. Something faster, without Neron suffering as he wasted away, shriveling away like a deflating balloon.

James hated Neron, but James wasn’t evil, and didn’t want Neron to suffer this much.

Neron was locked away in a cell, locked away in isolation. His skin growing shriveled up like a raisin as he slowly lost his power and life source.

James found it hard to watch, but at a loss of another way to end Neron, as this was the only way to kill a devil.

Without being able to make deals or use their magic, devils would begin to fade away and die, meaning that Neron couldn’t even have guards guarding him, in case he were to deal with them.

So now, James stood in that cave, watching over Hartley. Either in an act in nostalgia, seeking something familiar, or just a force of habit, he wore an outfit that was almost identical to his last costume, there only being a few modifications.

His cape was now slightly pointed upwards on the shoulders, resembling the cape Neron had had before his dethronement, and the clasp for his cape turned into a circular glowing green stone, which was situated in the center of a golden mold. A green strip, so small it was almost just the stitching, yet caught the light and made itself obvious was on either side of the larger blue stripe that ran down the middle of James’ front.

After James had successfully taken his new throne, most of the devils and demons he’d allied with had left, gone back to continue ruling their realm.

Except for one.

Astarte.

She was considered a goddess by most humans that knew of her, ruling over sexuality, fertility, and war.

James didn’t look away from a currently slumbering Hartley as she approached him, even though he knew she was breathtakingly beautiful and, from the corner of his eye, he could tell she was wearing nothing more than a thin, veil-like dress which was easily see through and had a layer that clung to her plump bosom and another to her curvy hips, leaving her thin waist in a not tight, but not loose level of dress.

She stood next to James, slightly behind him, watching the new devil carefully, before speaking up.

“You loved him, didn’t you? Is he why you fought back against Neron? I know you died protecting him.”

James didn’t have to answer, the look of longingness telling the goddess everything.

“I can make a deal with you.” She started, barely over a whisper. “Make you close to human again. You could be with him, as long as you hold up your end.”

There was a pause before James’ reply.

“What price? My soul? Throne? What?” James questioned. “I don’t have much to give, and even less that’d be equal.”

He was annoyed. All that fight, and he still wasn’t any damn closer.

He’d almost completely given up.

Astarte chuckled and slowly snaked her hands up and around James’ shoulders. “I would love those, but no.” She chuckled again as James shrugged out of her tantalizing touch, glad he passed her small test. She figured he would, but she wanted to make sure James would resist temptation before she made any deals with him.

“All you have to do is tell him your true feelings.  _And_ have them returned.” she continued. “I’ll give you a month once we strike the deal.”

As much as James was tempted to say yes without a second thought, he refrained, split seconds before he did.

“... No…” Came his answer, just barely above a whisper, and took Astarte by surprise.

“N-No?” She questioned, drawing back in confusion. “But… You love him, don’t you? Why wouldn’t you want to be with him?”

James’ face was blank as he watched Hartley still. “Because I’m not good for him. Last time, I did so much damage, and he’s starting to get over it…” He paused. “To get over _me_ …”

Astarte watched him, then looked to Hartley, who was bathed in the beginning of the morning sun, which was slowly peaking over the horizon.

Hartley’s hair caught the sunlight and gave him a golden red halo as he burrowed further into the warmth of his burrito of blankets and away from the pestering sunlight that threatened to awake him from his thankfully peaceful slumber.

A tiny smile ghosted over James’ lips as he watched Hartley, the ginger’s nose scrunching up as he shuffled around in bed.

“You know… There _is_ a way to be with him, other than my deal… Something you can do yourself…” Astarte drawled.

James looked to her for the first time in the whole conversation in surprise and curiosity, which changed his blank expression with the tiniest hint of sadness,  quick enough for her to wonder if it was even there to begin with.

“I told you-” He was cut off.

“He’ll be unable to see, hear, or touch you, but you’ll be there with him.”

This shut up any of his complaints which were bubbling up in his throat.

There was a another, longer pause before, “How?”


	25. Hello? I'm Sorry I'm Dead? I Love You?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Song(s) Used:  
> [Panic! At The Disco~This Is Gospel](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tGE381tbQa8)  
> [The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus~Guardian Angel](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q7Em4fUOrZo)  
> [Skylar Grey~Words](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tcLJP3evnHI)  
> [Christina Perri~The Words](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B9tc9R_Y3FY)  
> Remember to please send me any song recommendations that you may have! :)

** Hello? I’m Sorry I’m Dead? ~~I Love You?~~ **

**Spring**

**2015 **

James, with Astarte’s help, had figured out how to go back to the plain of the living, and James quickly found his way back to Hartley.

He smiled lovingly at the ginger he had taken role of guardian angel over, as said ginger played with the West kids.

It was so nice, seeing Hartley happy and smiling again, as he ran around the backyard, chasing the two kids, Jai and Irey.

James chuckled from his perch on the fence and kicked his feet absentmindedly, Hartley being tackled and piled on by the kids.

It saddened James, that he couldn’t touch Hartley and be noticed. That he couldn’t speak to him and be heard. Have those beautifully sensitive ears hear him. Or move around Hartley and have those dazzling blue eyes see him.

But it hurt less than the way it _had_ been. Now he could watch him as if he were actually _there_ , he could touch Hartley, feel his soft, yet stiff from shortness, red hair, feel his smooth, pale skin as he brushed his cheek. Now he could talk to Hartley and occasionally move various items, only refraining from doing so when people watched, or from making it obvious that they moved. Just the occasional moving the keys out from behind something else, or turning Hartley’s bedroom light off if he fell asleep with them on.

If he made his interactions obvious, then the Wests or Hartley might do something about it, making it harder for James to continue watching over Hartley.

Hartley got up and laughed with the kids, who stayed draped over him, laughing at the fun they were having.

James hopped off the white picket fence and waltzed over to Hartley when the ginger slowly stood up, as the twins ran back over to their parents as Linda called that food was ready.

James stood beside Hartley and put a hand on his shoulder blade, which slowly snuck its way around the man.

He placed a gentle kiss on his cheek with a longing sadness in the kiss and his voice as he spoke up.

“I love you, you beautiful fool.” he whispered. “Oh god, how I had wished you knew. Wished that you had picked up on why I acted so damn _weird_ around you. Wished that you had asked me what was going on.” He paused and took a shaky breath. “I was _terrified_ to talk to you about it though, so I hid it all away.”

He watched Hartley, as he slipped out of his ghost of a hold, slipping from the arms he’d never know he was in.

Hartley walked back to Wally, Linda, and the twins, who were beginning to eat the freshly grilled burgers Wally had been grilling, James following right behind him.

Yes, Hartley may never know the words James told him now, but that wouldn’t stop him.

“God I was stupid.” James laughed, void of any happiness. “ I was _convinced_ that my feelings for you would fade away or could be ignored. I thought pushing you away would be the best option.”

James gave somewhere between a bittersweet laugh and a sob.

Fuck this hurt, watching the man he’d fallen in love with living happily without him, slowly moving on from his death.

Times like this, he wanted nothing more than to actually be there, to actually hold Hartley in his arms, have Hartley _know_ he was there. Whisper his words of love into his ears and have them be heard.

But he couldn’t…

Doing that would only hurt Hartley.

For all he knew, Hartley could feel differently than James did or, best option, which James greedily hoped for, had once felt at least similar, at least at some point, but had at least _began_ to move on, if not had moved on long ago.

Yes, he would love if Hartley could love him back, but he knew he had pushed Hartley away and alienated him _far_ too much for that to be more than a dream.

And honesty? James would rather go on not knowing the actual answer to his question of ‘to love, or not to love’, and would rather not face the imminent rejection.

And even if he _did_ risk it and make the deal and come back, it could result disastrously for Hartley.

James wasn’t stupid, and he sure as hell wasn’t blind. He knew Hartley was still majorly struggling with his sanity, even if he was trying his hardest to show the opposite.

But James was a professional con artist, and he liked to at least _think_ he knew Hartley enough to know when to call B.S.

And he was calling B.S.

If James did come back, it could easily push Hartley back over that line of sanity/insanity, and James didn’t want that.

So James settled with how things were now, as he followed Hartley around the yard to his seat in a green lawn chair that had wordlessly became his during his stay at the Wests’.

Hartley had started growing his hair out again, and it now reached far enough to be comfortably tucked behind his ear. James, smiling fondly at the ginger man, reached out and gently brushed a strand of those crimson locks to the side of his face and out of the way of those piercing blue eyes.

James figured that Hartley just brushed the touch off as a passing breeze, and continued to eat his burger.

At least he was eating…

James sighed and sat down on the grass besides Hartley and put his head in his hands, tugging frustratedly at his hair with a sigh turned groan.

“Why was I so stupid?” he asked Hartley, as if he held the answers, even though he knew Hartley couldn’t hear a word said to him.

“Why did I brush you off, push you away. I love you Hartley, and I have for as long as I can remember knowing you. But… I was so _afraid_ … I don’t even know what I was afraid _of_ … You? How I felt? My sexuality?... _The way you make me feel_? Even with women, I’ve never felt anywhere _near_ the way you made, you _make_ , me feel… So… So open. Like a book, just waiting for you to read my chapters…” James admitted with a bittersweet smile and a soft sigh.

Might as well confess his love, even if the other would never know the sensitive words that fell from the Italian's soft, parted lips, cutting a deep tear in the blond’s heart.

Have to get hurt before you can heal…

So, with a heavy Hart heart, James continued.

“My world is so dark, but I’ve never even noticed it, growing up in the dark without any light. Yeah, I _thought_ I had the life. I thought I was truly _happy_ …” James had looked away at some point, but as he took a shaky breath, trying to find the right words to describe his feelings, words which seemed to elude him, he looked back up to Hartley, who was still eating his food, with hopeful yet bittersweet eyes.

“But then _you_ came along. You were the light that I never knew I needed. Never knew I _longed for_. You were the light that guided me through the darkness of my life.

“And I swear, whenever you walk through a door, all the light shines on you. Your own little spotlight, right where you belong. Nothing else in the world matters when I’m with you. The end of the world could be happening, the world crashing and burning, and all I would care about is _you_.Even if it meant sacrificing myself for you again.”

Another shaky breath, as he debated reaching out to Hartley. Debated touching him.

Instead, he kept his hands to himself.

“I know we’re both afraid. You’re afraid of being alone, of everyone abandoning you again. Afraid of making more mistakes. Mistakes we’ve both made. Dancing that tightrope between sides, leaving wounds on both sides. You always belonged on the side of the angels though, and I never quite understood why you kept coming back to the wrong side. Maybe it was the family we made in the old days in the Rogues? But that family has died off or changed. Maybe nostalgia? Maybe it’s only cause you were lonely… Seeking out someone or something familiar to make it easier to handle…”

James and Hartley looked over at the twins, who had finished eating and were now loudly squealing as Linda chased them, pretending to be a “horrible mean monster”.

James chuckled bittersweetly at the family.

“I always knew you were a bleeding heart, Hart, but the last few years we were talking, I’d been worried about you. You’d grown cold and distant. You weren’t the carefree rebellious college aged kid anymore. You’d had such an open heart, and I think time and assholes used that against you. That open heart turned into an open wound, and I desperately wish I could smooth it all out for you. Smooth out all the scars and tears for you. Make it easier to live with.”

He took a calming breath and ran a hand through his wavy blond hair.

“I knew we’ve both made bad calls in the past. I should have focused on you more. I shouldn’t have run away from you. But when I was faced by all the noise coming from the darkness of my life, all the restless and loud noise, the voice of love, the voice coming from _you_ , was so damn quiet I couldn’t hear it sometimes…”

Hartley stood up from his chair and walked over to Wally, who stood, watching his wife and kids run around giggling, and James  continued to follow Hartley.

“But the scariest and hardest part? Not getting over the guilt and regret of the past. All the ‘shoulda done woulda done’s. But… It’s letting go. Letting go of the thoughts and beliefs I grew up with ingrained in my mind. The thoughts of homophobia. The fear of the way you make me feel. How open you make me feel… The fear of opening up to you about these feelings to you… But now? Not even the truth can touch us. And I don’t know if that’s a good thing or bad…”

Wally had said something to Hartley, and Hartley laughed, Something pinged in James’ chest, Hartley’s smooth, melodic laughter tugging on his heartstrings, playing it like a harp, playing a beautiful yet achingly bittersweet melody.

“And all of the steps that led me through the dark, that led me to the light at the end of the tunnel, that led me to _you_. All of the hell I had to walk through, literal and figurative... I wouldn’t trade a single _second_ of it, just to see you recover from all the hell you’ve been through. To see you smile again. _Truly_ smile again. To hear your beautiful laughter again and again…”

James had to return back to Hell again soon. Being the ruler of a realm of the underworld, he couldn’t leave it alone for too long, no matter how much he’d rather be here.

Be with Hartley.

So he wrapped it up quickly and sweetly, walking up to whisper in Hartley’s ear, “My love, I’m in love with you.” before placing a soft, butterfly light kiss to his cheek.

And with that, he left, vanishing back into Hell.

 

Never noticing the hand Hartley slowly raised to lightly touch his cheek, where james had pressed his lips to, in surprise.

  
  


He’d felt the mysterious kiss…

  
  
  


Right after he’d barely heard, just a whisper in the wind, what sounded achingly similar to his deceased friend, long turned secret crush...


	26. Striking the Deal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Song(s) Used:  
> [Green Day~21 Guns](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r00ikilDxW4)  
> [Green Day~21 Guns (Musical Cast Version)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q1RKr4pWOqs)  
> [John Legend~My Imagination](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xjJ3m6ftmCI&index=4&list=RDS_1-QTwBW28)  
> [Adriana Figueroa~Wanderer's Lullaby](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=70VlAyEUXYM)  
> [Adrisaurus~Wanderer's Lullaby (Male Pitch)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lj30Hzk-z2g)  
> Please send me any suggestions you have, either for plot or songs! :)

**Striking The Deal**

**Spring**

**2015**

James continued watching over Hartley for the next few months, splitting his time between Hartley and Hell.

He’d continued talking with Astarte, as the goddess continued to make it clear that her deal to make James ‘human’ again and able to be with Hartley, was still on the table.

But each time she offered, James left her wondering, as he continued to refuse and deny her offers.

Hartley seemed to be better, and James insisted that coming back would only make things worse.

That was, until Hartley started acting strangely one day.

He’s insisted that he’d be fine, and that Wally and Linda should go to work, and eventually, he was alone in the West household.

That wasn’t that bad, and nothing was raising any red flags or ringing any warning bells, but James still felt the need to be there with Hartley.

But then, as James watched from the bathroom doorway, watching as Hartley grabbed an unopened bottle of sleeping pills, those bells rang loud and clear and flags waved wildly, as Hartley pocketed the bottle, not in the same pocket he knew his Trickster puppet hid.

… And then a look of disgust crossed Hartley’s face and a crash echoed throughout the small room, as Hartley punched the mirror.

James panicked as he watched Hartley, who looked as if he hadn’t even realize he had just punched the mirror, shards of the mirror embedded in his knuckles.

James then remembered the note Hartley had scribbled and stuck to the fridge amongst the family pictures, drawings, and reminders.

No… He couldn’t be planning what he thought he was…

As Hartley carefully closed the door behind him and started walking aimlessly, James tried and failed to stop him.

But James had been struggling with things in the underworld, meaning he wasn’t at his strongest. His pushing and pulling Hartley to get him to stop were only a gentle breeze to the ginger.

In horror, James realized where the broken man was aimlessly heading toward before the redhead did.

 

The abandoned Rathaway Manor.

 

And James could do nothing but watch in horror, as Hartley sat down in the worn down ballroom and downed the entire bottle of pills and slowly pulled his puppet out and held it close to his chest as he curled up, sleep slowly creeping over his tired and aching body.

 

Or… could he?

In desperation, James hurried back to the underworld.

“ASTARTE!” he yelled as he ran to find her. “ASTARTE!”

The goddess appeared in front of him, confused by the desperation in his voice.

“Y-Yes?” she asked, growing worried.

“I’ll do it!” James all but yelled, confusing the goddess even more until he explained. “The deal! I’ll do it! _I need to make the deal_!”

SHe immediately understood and nodded.

She may not currently know why James was panicking, but she understood the urgency.

With a wave of her hand and a bright flash of light, James… Didn’t feel any different?

“I haven’t taken away your powers, but I have taken your immortality. You can now be ‘human’. You have a month until you gain your immortality and cannot be with Hartley anymore, _unless_ you tell him your feelings and get them returned.” she explained, getting a quick nod from James before he disappeared, going back to Hartley.

He quickly grabbed Hartley, scooping him up and with the aid of his air walkers, ran through a hole in the ceiling and rushed to the hospital.

  
  


Hopefully he wasn’t too late...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so this seems like a bit of a short chapter, and I've been putting off working on this story for multiple reasons. There's a major plot thing that happens recently in the chapters I've been working on, and it's not wanting to be put down in words. As in, I have it plotted out and explained in notes and an outline, but I can't seem to find the right way to explain it in the story. This plot also kinda has a lot to do with the future, so it's super important, but it and one or two other things are fitting in timeline wise, but not chapter wise, and it's quite frustrating.  
> Let me know if anything seems like it was skipped over, especially in some of the upcoming chapters, or if you have any suggestions for future plots/chapters or any song suggestions. If you don't listen to the songs I've recommended, I really recommend you check them out, since there are some pretty cool songs I've found for this story along the line.  
> Thanks, and peace! :)


	27. Getting Help

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Song(s) Used:  
> [Dr. Dre~I Need A Doctor (ft. Skylar Grey)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VA770wpLX-Q)  
> [The Devil Went Down To Georgia](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K6RUg-NkjY4)  
> Please send me any suggestions you have, either for plot or songs! :)

Getting Help

Spring

2015

It caused a lot of commotion, when James burst into the ER, a sleeping and barely breathing Hartley in his arms, bridal style.

He’d grabbed the arm of a passing nurse and explained what was going on, and Hartley quickly got help.

James tried to follow, not wanting to leave Hartley’s side for even a second, but another nurse stopped him and told him he’d have to wait in the waiting room, but would be updated as it went and would be able to see him once Hartley was stabilized.

He knew he wouldn’t win this battle and nodded solemnly, watching Hartley be rushed off before slowly turning and heading back to the waiting room.

He’d only cause distraction if he was there anyways, both from being in the way and from his physical appearance.

Yes, he looked like he did before he had died, and even though he’d gotten a new body in Hell, he’d (by choice) kept the two scars on his left wrist, one raised and jagged, and one flat and straight.

But being a devil also meant that he looked slightly different.

His ears were pointed on the tips, but not enough that he’d looked like an elf or anything, and his canines were elongated and sharpened.

So now he paced back and forth in the waiting room.

About an hour later, James was sitting in one of the most uncomfortable chairs in existence, as a familiar gust of wind whooshed past him, and James groaned and rubbed his hands over his face.

“What do you want, asshat?” James asked, quite annoyed at the speedster’s presence without even looking up to see which speedster it was.

“Y-You’re _dead_.”

James looked up and _glared_ at a panicked and _very_ distressed Wally standing a few feet in front of him.

“No thanks to _you_.” James spat.

He hadn’t meant for it to come out so hurtful, but at the moment, he couldn’t find the effort to care.

Wally looked down and away in shame.

“I know I was an idiot and a tool,”

“Oh, you weren’t just a tool, you were the whole hardware store.” James interrupted, earning a glare from the ginger.

“ _But_ , I’ve been trying to make it up to Hartley. Linda and I have been looking after him, and he was getting _better_! … Or… At least we _thought_ he was…”

James laughed, but there was a distinct lack of anything resembling humor or joy.

“And such a good job you’ve been doing with that.” James gritted out.

Wally was visibly hurt by that, as he backed away from James and his fiery glare, ever so slightly.

Wally was going to respond, but James interrupted him before he could open his mouth.

“Look. I know you’ve done your best, trying to help Piper.” James said with a sigh as he looked down with closed eyes. “I know it was hard. I know-”

“How do you know?” Wally demanded defensively. “How would you know? About his struggle. About _any_ of this?! You weren’t here, how could you know what Hartley has gone through?!”

“Because I _was_ there.” James’ reply was cold and collected, yet had a sense that James had given in, all-in-all sending a large shiver down Wally’s spine. “I was watching over him. I watched every _second_ of his life, while I was down in Hell, _which_ , I was only there because Neron had a grudge on me still, thankyouverymuch.”

Wally was shocked to say the least. One, of James’ apparent devotion to watching over Hartley, and two, as he hadn’t expected to hear of Neron again in a long time, if ever again. “ _I_ was forced to watch, as Hartley’s life was fucked with. Watched as Hartley began losing his battle between Desaad his mental state, and every other fucked up thing that was thrown at him. So I _really_ don’t want to hear that I ‘don’t know what Hartley’s been through’, ok?”

Somehow, James had managed to keep his voice low, and they hadn’t made much of a scene.

But James still had his new devil powers, and they were acting up, since he was so worked up at the moment.

His ears were still pointed, and his eyes now gave off a faint blue glow, and Devil’s dust, called Demon’s dust by some, seemingly _oozed_ from James’ body.

Devil’s dust was almost a by-product of devils and some of the more powerful demons. It looked and acted like regular dust, but glowed, in James’ case, a light blue.

It was typically used to either help calm the ‘summoner’, or help them strengthen their other powers.

This dust, if desired, could also help use the power of those around them or to help strengthen others, even though this was usually ignored, as most demons and devils had too much pride and arrogance to ask for help from others and usually lead their realm in isolation.

But, while it could be used to help others, even humans, Devil’s dust can only be controlled and dismissed by the summoner, and would usually fade away by itself after the summoner stopped concentrating on it, and would only float around in the air and not settle down on the area, as normal dust would.

All-in-all, James had a whole new level of ‘creepy’ and ‘don’t mess with’ look to him, as he sat in the god awful chair, elbows on his knees and hands together, shoulders hunched forward, as he growled out his argument.

Fortunately, the tension was cut by a nurse, calling out for James.

James snapped to attention, his dark aura, glow, and dust that was freaking Wally the hell out suddenly lifting into one of pure worry, as James stood up and rushed across the waiting room.

“Yes, that’s me.” he told the nurse, the same one that had told him to wait earlier.

“Hi, I’d like to ask you some questions about the man you brought in…” The nurse asked. “Can you come with me for a moment?”

James nodded and the nurse, a man in his mid forties and an inch or two taller than James, with short salt and pepper hair, beard, and an impressive handlebar mustache walked down a hallway in the hospital until the nurse, Steve, as his badge read, lead him into a conference room.

They took a seat at the table as Steve-the-nurse read over something on his clipboard.

“So the man you brought in…”

“Hartley. Hartley Rathaway.” James interrupted, and Steve-the-nurse nodded and wrote that down on the clipboard.

“How long have you known Mr. Rathaway? And what connection do you have with him?” Steve-the-nurse asked.

James stopped to think.

“Almost twenty years now, I believe?” James answered. “We used to be coworkers, but we became close friends.” Turned into my secret major crush.

The nurse nodded again and wrote more things down.

“Do you know what exactly happened to Mr. Rathaway?”

James sighed before explaining, choosing to leave out the whole watching over thing, as that was too long to explain. “He attempted suicide by sleeping pills. He took a whole bottle and _I couldn’t stop him_.”

The nurse paused and looked up at James, hearing the pain in his voice at the last four words, and the seeing the look of heartbreak on his face. Obviously this man cared deeply for his suffering friend.

“Has he had any past attempts or experiences where he’s attempted suicide?”

James shook his head.

“No, but he usually puts others before himself. A _lot_ has happened to him the last decade or so, and he probably blames himself for everything, even though he has nothing to blame himself for. As far as I know, this is the first time he’s done this though. He… He also hasn’t been exactly what you’d call mentally stable, because of all that’s happened.”

At this, the nurse began to furiously scribble his notes, looking up at James again once done.

“I need to tell the doctors about all of this, but I’ll keep you updated on his condition if you stay in the waiting room.” The two stood up and the nurse began to lead James back to the waiting room. “He should make it. From my understanding, you got him here just in time.” The nurse explained, the last part making James’ body go numb in relief.

James nodded and shook hands with Steve-the-nurse before he ran off. He himself headed back over to the uncomfortable chairs and flopped down, feeling worthless that he couldn’t do anything else, or couldn’t have stopped Hart from taking those pills.

James slowly drifted off into a restless sleep, the uncomfortable chair seeming slightly (but not too much) comfortable to James’ aching body.


End file.
